so now im branded for taking the fall*

you're only the bestest i'll ever have.

2007-05-10T18:14:00.000+08:00

staring right back in the face
a memory cant be erased
i know, because i tried
start to feel the emptiness
and everything im gonna miss
i know, that i cant hide.

so you sailed away.. into a grey sky morning.

when you come back down
if you land on your feet
i hope you find a way to make it back to me
when you come aroundI
i’ll be there for you
don’t have to be alone
with what you’re going through

can you remember?
long toilet breaks.
secrets.
laughter.
pictures.
kfc.
joy.
vajana.
looking through all the pictures made me realise
how i much i miss the old us
and how much has changed over the year.
its sad, but i guess things happen for a reason yeah.

but no matter what happens
i'll always be there for the both of you
and i hope you will too.
you guys still mean alot, you're still important to me.
and you still play a huge part in my life.
please dont walk away.
and i really hope we'll still stay close, if not, good friends,
no matter how far we might drift
or whatever obstacles we may face along the course of this year.
thank you for showing me what true friends really mean.
take care okay
and know that i'll love you always vaja.
there is none like you (:

what hurts the most;

2007-03-16T16:12:00.000+08:00

maybe my love wasnt enough
to keep you here with me.

i could've opened my heart
and let you inside.

your head starts to hurt
you just close your eyes.
close your eyes.

a start of the old on a new slate;

2007-03-16T16:02:00.000+08:00

i came back to this place for that initial sole purpose
but the sensation brought about by a certain familiarity
of old entries and passwords
of old times good times bad times

they sink in with time

nostalgia.. has brought me back here again.

she warms my heart
and knows where all my imperfections are

lost over the lust;

2007-03-10T17:20:00.000+08:00

wow.. it feels really weird that i've started blogging here again.
elaboratedskies, here i am (:
looking back at all my old posts really made me realise alot of things.

its been 1 year and 3 months.

2006-10-09T17:16:00.000+08:00

soooo today was our math and lit paper!
math was ehhookkaaayyy lah.
but the time passed by very fast D:
like after a while looking up at the clock, 15 mins would've already passed.
and i'll start panicking.
and that is really noooooooo good.
the question about the Moribus and Modestus thing was confusing like shit.
i had to keep reading it to check over and over again whether i was finding the right thing.
cos they both looked like the same what.
haha okay whatever.

lit was not that bad.
i realised i actually like sitting for lit exams hahahahha funnaye ah.
but yeah, its the most enjoyable exam. for me (:
and the poem about the little boy was kinda sad actually /:
after the paper, claire was almost crying cos she said she thinks she wrote too little.
and when we asked her what she meant by 'too little',
she said
'i only used two sides of the paper for one question ):'
WOAH. like that also not enough.
she's so pantat-ish.

okay im supposed to be reading my peribahasa now.
but burd buhd but!
the computer's too tempting d:
resist the temptation baby,
sorry i cant.

my dad's back!!
god, you dont know how relieved i am.
and the first thing he said to me when i got into the car was,
'shasha i dont like your new room'
haha walau damn mean lah.
he said the purple's making him blind plus the bedsheets and everything else.
in all, he just thinks its too BRIGHT.
and when i told him i didnt decide anything,
he said he'll talk to my mum about it!
but like ya, there's no point since my mum wont even listen to him
cos she always gets what she wants.
so aiyyyayayyayaya.

i dont know if its just me,
or am i just getting more irritated with my mum every single day.
maybe every teenager goes through this,
maybe some with their dads.
maybe some with both.
yeah but i guess its all the same.
its like sometimes i feel her nags are really damn blood-sucking.
and it annoys me to see how much she can go on and on and on
about one bloody topic.
but at other times, i actually bother listening to her nag?
yeahh ohhhwelll.
betcha think im mad haha.
but ya after all she is my mum,
and i'll still love her no matter.
SO MA I LOVE YOU.
by the way,
eunice says you remind her of the malay version of rosie from phua chu kang hahahahahahaha.
okay lah im so bad.

tonight's gonna be a teevee marathon day!
so you think you can dance and america's next top model :D

gummies make me a happy girl, i swear.

2006-10-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

i think im gonna go for a walk.

the hardest thing;

2006-10-07T09:58:00.000+08:00

im up early than usual today.
kinda weird, considering the fact i didnt really sleep well last night.
but yeah its good i guess.
cos according to the highest in my house,
she said that people who get up late tend to put on more weight.
i dont know what rubbish logic is that,
haha but somehow i still listen to it.

so its back to more mugging today.
OH WHAT FUN!

the very first time i saw you,
was special how we met.
you took me by complete surprise.
i knew my heart was set.

as days flew by, we talked again,
but it never really bothered me
i tried my best to help you out,
by a favor here, or a favor there.

although i made a fast approach,
our friendship grew and grew.
i realised how deep i cared,
but the feeling i felt was new.

in time i became attached to you.
from a hug, i didnt wanna let go.
i soon saw how close we were,
and the feeling was good to know.

for you, i wrote sweet letters and songs.
you were on my mind all day.
the thought of sleeping was nowhere near,
unless i knew you were okay.

it hit me then, what i was in -
a unique and precious love.
for the person i said was special to me
was an angel sent from above.

the minutes without you turned into days,
and the seconds with you flew fast.
i could only wish to see you more,
and make each moment last.

but that may never probably happen.
i know we will never be able to hang out like we did before
msges or online conversations doesnt really complete a friendship
thats why sometimes i wish we had more.

the times I spent with you,
were what made my heart complete.
i knew one thing for sure,
you made me happy, you really did.

and now, we love just the same,
as it doubles day by day.
i wanna stare deep into your precious eyes,
but yet i know i'll be speechless to what i should say.

with you, im in a whole new world.
you bring out the best in me.
its hard to picture you not there,
when you taught me who to be.

when things may only seem rough.
but because i'll try and i hope you do too
we'll stay strong and get by tough.

though problems may lie ahead someday,
and either of us could be right;
i promise to always be by your side,
and i promise my heart, so hold it tight.

and so, each night, beside my bed,
when there's only bright stars to see;
i pray that we may never give up,
and i pray that one day i'll finally be able to show you
just how much you mean to me.

sigh im sad.

listening to the way you look at me really makes me cry.

2006-10-06T19:04:00.000+08:00

im working on a rather long post.
might not been done by today but yeah we'll see how it goes (:

macbeth's should think for himself.
haha lit crap.
alrighty im off.

cos there is something in the way you look at me;

2006-10-06T13:56:00.000+08:00

okay so i know i havent been updating much lately.
ya ya ya blame exams.
its driving me maaadddd.

so basically all the harder / memorising subjects have passed
thank god.
and next week its just emath lit mt and geog paper 1!
oh yay yay yo.

wed was mt and chem paper.
mt was okaaaayy i guess?
yaya kept flipping and flipping and flipping her dictionary
damn noisy lah.
haha and she was sitting all the way in front. TSK.
and our invigilator was so irritating!
i dont know if she's just bored or what,
but she was sitting on the teachers table and playing with the walkie talkie!
and everytime she turns this small knob on it,
it'll make a funny sound
and ALL of us will turn to look at her.
and she just looks back with a 'oh, sorry' face.
i mean its understandable if it just happened once,
BUT THE FACT THAT IT KEPT HAPPENING OVER&OVER AGAIN
just got me really pissed off.

chem was like crap, i spent most of my time staring at the paper thinking
'what am i supposed to write?'
cos i didnt want to like leave blanks,
at most write rubbish lah. even if it doesnt make sense haha.
then ms ho ah can happy happy come into the class with her bigg smile and go
'girls, any questions?'
oh erm yeah ms ho, could you explain all the questions to me.
sheesh.
and everyone at the end of the paper was like
'aiya sure fail sure fail already'
boo.

amath and geog was yesterday.
amath,
when mr yong asked us to take 10 sheets of writing pad,
i was thinking
woah school trying to be generous eh, who needs 10 pieces of writing paper.
haha but i was sooooo wrong.
the paper was o-kay lah. wont comment any further.
geog geog geog.
my studying of coasts and rivers and plates paid off!
but it took me really long to figure out qn1.
i was like wondering wth the stupid instrument was.
AND I ALMOST THOUGHT IT WAS A STEVENSON SCREEN WHOOOOPS.
haha ah well its over (:

everyone was panicking this morning cos of bio.
ah i felt so unprepared ):
i made a wrong move by starting of with secion B.
cos i wanted to clear all my essay questions first.
BUT SECTION A WAS IN FACT TOUGHER THAN SECTION B.
*slaps forehead*
i shall never do something like that again.

oh yeah. and then there's always a joker that
just makes you forget about the shittfying paper.
and it was none other than, charmaine foo.
that girl ah, try to act cool also cannot make it.
today at whitesands,
she was trying to act her im-so-cool-look-at-me
with her bimbo walk and spastic face
and instead of walking into the female toilet
she almost walked into the male toilet.
ahahahahah damn hilarious lah.
i was laughing so hard man.

when i came home,
i was astonished to find several tins of paint and rollers outside my house area there.
and when i walked in,
the whole house looked like a typhoon that just came and swept everything away.
all my shelves, cupboard, table, bed, EVERYTHING.
and all cos the contractors were taking down the wallpaper in the house
to repaint everything.
walau.
so now im sitting in the living room (thank god there's no wallpaper here)
sitting on the sofa
with the labby in a slanting position
and my legs trying to avoid the heat being given out by the labby.
cos its bloody hot.
i cant do anything, dont even talk about studying.
when i dont have a proper table to write on now
and its so hot over here
and im still in my uniform
and im so sticky i feel like glue
and im having a headache with all the paint smell s:

hey to you,
i read whatever you said in your blog.
and it just got me thinking alot.
dont you know i love you so much as a friend too?
i didnt expect us to drift apart for abit ( to be honest i dont know why it happened )
but i know that you're still always there for me
and you know im always here for you yeah?
and yes, i know im sensitive.
but im just like that cos i care too much.
and i dont want to wait until i leave TK and start realising how much you mean to me,
cos frankly not talking to you much this few days in school,
i've realised how much you're actually a part of my life.
at times, it really felt damn sucky.
and now everyone's just concentrating on exams
everything's exams exams exams.
but we'll work things out once next week's over okay?
you've promised.
and i promise you too.
so now BACKSIDE WITH THE CAPITAL B,
i've missed you.
and you know i love you.
i do (:

you know you're beautiful-

shine on..
you were made to;

2006-09-30T13:48:00.000+08:00

every step you take
reverberates within these four walls
so you take care your steps are light
moving with utmost caution on tip toe
the soles of your feet
barely brushing the cold hard floor

the diffraction of your reflection
forming spots of bright light
where the points of your beauty intersect
all your flaws seem to fade
with one look at your face

the hum of silence, lingers
ringing, high pitched, in my ears
i do not love you
for that i will not love you

strung out
praying for some saving grace
to a higher power a higher being
doesnt it ever make you wonder

still when we've fallen out with friends
they claim we're still allowed the fig leaf of 'reconciliation'
nobody told us reconciliation
would still subject to cold hearts and disconcerting looks

when every part of me just wants to stop
stop this rage of war within me
i try to hide a bundle of nerves i really am

dont blow the shade
its the only thing thats keeping us under
the only thing thats keeping out the sun

slow jams make my heart beat a little slower
make me forget the jar on my breakfast table
or the crazy traffic jams out on the streets

saturday mornings speak of
hearty meals, get togethers and warm conversations

dreams of strangers, distant faces
people i dont know but recognize

i was bored.

i bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
to watch the stars crash in the sea.

2006-09-29T21:17:00.000+08:00

result of intoxication gas during ipp : DEATH.

this picture speaks a thousand words.

look at every single person's face.
and you'll see that each of their expressions are priceless.

i blogged a whole bloody long post about the week
and it disappeared just like THAT.
boo.
ohwell nevermind.
i've lost all my mood to blog anyway.

mommy daddy, please stop fighting.
its more than i can take anymore
how do you expect me to even concentrate in an environment like this?
you keep telling me to focus and work hard.
well yeah but how..
when there's yelling and screaming coming in every direction.
its really getting to me now.
im gonna go out and study tmr.
sigh i cant stop the tears.
im such a fucked up child.

would it all be worthwhile;

2006-09-25T10:51:00.001+08:00

its recess now and since i cant go down,
i thought i'd just blog for abit.

stupid jaz stop looking.
jazz:who wants to fucking look la.
i dont know. you?
jazz:you're crazy. im just bored you see. sheesh. you have no life. can't eat huh? awwwWWWww.
i think im doing fine without food. AIYA GO AWAY AND LET ME BLOG IN PEACE!
jazz:"if you fast enough, maybe your hunger will eat away the fats." hahahah! (: loser. love ya! bye!
bye.

then comes sabrina tiong
hello natasha! sniff my pits! (: since your face is there (:
OKAY OKAY OKAY.
(: nice smelling pits, i paid alot for my deodarant you know.
HAHAHAH DEODARANT!

Dreamz Fm - Should i Stay?
had a drive
driven by your love
but when you messed around
i lost the drive i found

thought you needed
needed someone true
nut you changed your mind
or had I failed you?

wish you'd been careful with my heart
but you tore it apart
and broke an angel's heart

the kiss was true
has to end somehow
but I am livin' proof of what love is about

it's hard holding you
loving you, losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know (i don't know)
i gotta know
should I stay or should I go?

you played me on
played me like a clown
but I feel for you
even though i'm down
my heart is heavy, heavy like a rock
but I am so amused
you're still in my thoughts

it's hard holding you
loving you, losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know (i don't know)
i gotta know
should I stay should I go?

this time its done
it'll never feel the same
but we had some good times
guess it's sad just the same

i guess the truth
doesn't matter somehow
but you were livin' proof of what love is about.

ahmygosh i remembered how much i loved this song (:
but i think the version jon did of it yesterday was kinda too, rock?
yeah lol.

baroque period is sucking the shit outta me.

the day's so cold and gloomy.

tofu just asked me to say she's hot (NOT!)

jannah's mabuk.

i think i've found something i really want.

oh well.
anyway i should get going now.
maybe i'll blog again sometime soon..

and this is the wonder thats keeping the stars apart;

2006-09-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

computer's wet.

maybe i've already lost you.

2006-09-20T21:25:00.000+08:00

close your eyes
dry your tears
cos when nothing seems clear,
you'll be safe here

from the sheer weight
of your doubts and fears
weary heart
you'll be safe here

when the light disappears
and when this world's insincere
you'll be safe here

when nobody hears you scream
i'll scream with you
you'll be safe here

in my arms
through the cold long night
sleep tight
you'll be safe here

when no one understands,
i'll believe.
you'll be safe
you'll be safe
you'll be safe here

put your heart in my hands;
you'll be safe here.

rivermaya.

i love the lyrics of the song.

2006-09-19T18:53:00.000+08:00

valencia's mother thinks she likes me?!?!?!?!
yucccckkxxxxxx aunttttyyyy nooooooo pleeeassseeeee.

valencia's mum : you like natasha is it?
val : no?!
mother : then why you always go her house?
val : STUDY LAH!
mother : -dont know what- dont bluff me ah.

and she still can come and tell me,
'my mother think i got so bad taste ah'
HAHA GO AND DIE VALENCIA.

this morning during assembly,
while waiting to walk up to class
me and jaz were laughing at something stupid
i cant remember what,
then yaya came infront also
i cant remember why.
then i cant remember who suddenly said
'EH MDM LENNY, MDM LENNY COMING!'
so we immediately closed our mouths.
and i saw lenny walking from the back of the class row.
then she walked up to jaz me yaya,
with that cheeky look on her face and said
'tomorrow, if anyone is found talking, the three of you all will go up to the front'
and GRINNED AT US before walking off.
WALAU?!
so like we're supposed to make sure everyone keeps quiet tomorrow.
OH WOW ITS LIKE SO POSSIBLE MAN.
jaz said she'll bring loudhaler.
i'll bring the cane.
and yaya's gonna contain her fart in a bottle and use it as a threat for anyone who talks HAHA.

stupid val.
she talk also never kena. THIS IS COMPLETELY BIASNESS I TELL YOU.
completely extremely.
and she was like telling everyone
hahaha tomorrow everyone talk more okay!'
that metal tits.

and i kept 'arguing' with tofu today.
she lah, ALWAYS WANNA ARGUE WITH ME.
i mean like i know im very fightable (haha?)
BUT DONT NEED TO PURPOSELY LIKE THAT RIGHT.
and.
she'll try to open her eyes damn damn big to act fierce
and end up making a fool outta herself and laughing spasticatedly.
OH YES, hahahaha i remembered something.
this morning we both went to get a drink before heading to the assembly ground,
and on the way down from class we were talking about ipods.
she was explaning to me about this spec box ipod or something that she wants to get
and how its better than a video, more stylish and everything
(TRYING TO PUT ME DOWN BY THE WAY )
then after finishing her oh-so-smart explanation,
she flinged her hair missed a step jerked forward and almost fell flat!
hahahahhahha i just stood there laughing and laughing.
it was bloody hilarious.
but luckily she didnt fall flat lah,
or else aiya quite poor thing also right (hahha)

i kept going to the toilet
and hanging outside the water cooler area
haha new hangout place (:
stupid tofu lah, 24/7 toilet toilet toilet.
and she'll always pull me to go with her
partly cos i sit near the back door
suay man.

i kept irritating everyone with this song todayeyyyeyeyye!
HOW COME EVERYTIME YOU COME AROUND
MY LONDON, LONDON BRIDGE WANNA GO DOWN
LIKE LONDON, LONDON, LONDON
WANNA GO DOWN
LIKE LONDON, LONDON, LONDON
WE'RE GOING DOWN (:

and jaz got so fed up with me she said
'you sing like that of course the bridge go down lah!'
:0
meanie.

look at the stars,
look how they
shine for you (:

shane looks,

carmen looks back,

awwww.

really sweet (:

2006-09-18T14:16:00.000+08:00

okay i feel like typing in caps so i shall.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SO ANNOYED.

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING. STUDY STUDY STUDY. I CAN'T WAIT TILL EOYS ARE OVER. IDIOTIC THINGS. WHY THE SHIT ARE WE STUDYING ANYWAY. STUDY FOR WHAT. LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH CIRCULAR MEASURE. OR OR OR OXIDATION NUMBERS. IF THEY HAVE NO FREAKING SIGNIFICANCE. IDENTIFY THE STUPID REACTION FOR WHAT. LIKE ITS GOING TO HELP ME SURVIVE IN MY LIFE. HELP ME REACH THE TOP. HELP ME ACHIEVE MY GOALS. RIGHT.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY STUDYING TAKES PRIORITY OVER EVERYTHING ELSE. I THINK EVERYONE WILL GO THROUGH THE SAME PHASE NEXT YEAR. UNLESS YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE IMBECILES WHO DON'T THINK ABOUT WHAT THE SYSTEM IS DOING FOR YOU. AND I'M SORRY BUT I'M ANNOYED SO LET ME RANT.

some people need to grow some brains.

im sorry to everyone who had to face the fucked up nat today,
it'll come and go.
i hope.

OKAY I'M DONE BEING A NUISCANCE.

THANKS FOR READING.

HAVE FUN MUGGING (:

could it be any worse?

2006-09-16T09:53:00.000+08:00

goood morning.
i was supposed to blog about yesterday's events last night
but there was an error in my blog or sth,
so yup this is a kinda late entry
but nvm (:

so lets seeeeeeeee.
yesterday we had pe first period.
kong was talking and talking AND talking before that,
about softball, to napfa, to changing in class, to the hostel to i dont know what.
while she was talking,
i was frantically trying to open the present tofu gave me haha.
AFTER WHAT SEEMED FOREVER, we started proper pe.
kong asked us to get a partner each and start throwing balls to each other.
and i got stuck with valencia.
HAHAHAHHA im kidding okay val.
BUT, that girl kept blaming me whenever SHE couldnt catch the balls.
like waaaalaaaauuuu. cannot catch ball my fault is it?!
haha anyway,
then we had to form groups of 4 form a circle, and throw balls at each other again.
before i could like ask the people around us anything,
tofu was like 'NAAAAAAATTTTTTT!'
and me and val were like 'oh shit'
cos like ya i mean tofu and hamiza are like the pro softballers lah.
but nevermind haha.
val didnt dare stand beside zaza cos she was scared she throw too hard HAHA.
so i stood beside zaza instead.
val kept missing all my balls! at least zaza could catch them lah.
SO MEANS ITS NOT MY THROWING, VAL REALLY CANT CATCH!
and tofu, kept missing all of val's balls also. hahahah.

then, we had to run across the field throwing our balls into the air and catching them.
tofu looked spasticated the whole way.
zaza was like the cooool one, like you know throwing and catching's a piece of cake.
val ah, sigh i dont even wanna go there. HAHAHA.
after that we combined with jannah, nadia, khai and zahidah for our game.
we started fielding first,
and valencia, who was standing at the third base COULDNT CATCH ANYTHING THROWN TO HER!
then poor tofu had to go all the way behind just to catch all the balls.
poor thing haha.
me: val can you be more alert!
val: how i know which ball to catch?! so many balls flying!
hahaha okaaay val.

then when the other groups were playing,
hamiza kept yelling at them stuff like 'HOMERUN! RUN THIS WAY! FASTER!'
woah scary seh the way she shout.

taken from valencia's blog :
Then. During the game, my team was like DAMNNNNNNNN good cause we had the two pro softballers TOFU and HAMIZA! Hehheh. So we play and play. Ahyah honestly all I did was stand there and laugh at people cause there was NO ONE passing the ball and no one ran to my base. So I just stood there and laugh.

And. ALVINA IS DAMN POWER LAH. Dont see her everyday in class only know how to sleep eat sleep eat, SHE THROW THE BLOODY BALL DAMN BLOODY HIGH. Like reach the sky like that. haha.

hahahaha

Chem period.
taken from valencia's blog again :
Then during Chem. Cheetah was passing the Chem wksts to NAT (who sits behind her) and knocked NAT's water bottle down. Then the whole table became a fountain and the water spilled like there's no tomorrow. Then NAT stared at her OMG. Then cheetah said, "YOUR WATER BOTTLE WAS OPEN LORRRRRR" in that rude tone. Like WTF. Then I thought she wasn't going to help NAT clean up cause she just turned back and started to act like she's paying attention to Ms Ho. I was sooooooooo close to scolding her when she suddenly stood up and helped NAT.

i wanted to slap her okay
NOT for knocking my water bottle down
but she still can tell me
'YOUR WATER BOTTLE WAS OPEN LORRRRRR'
oh so what, MY FAULT NOW IS IT?!
you dont have to use so much bloody force to give me worksheets right
i bet you wanted to slam the worksheets on my table
but FAILED DAMN BADLY.
WTH LAH OKAYYYYYY.
and she was like
'sorry lah'
when she saw my bloody pissed off face.
if you're not sincere about your sorry,
why say it at all?
i rather you shut the fuck up.

taken from valencia's blog AGAIN : (haha im lazy to type)
OMG YOU STUPID CHEETAH WOMAN.You think you're damn cool with your bung wannabe looks is it? You think you're damn accepted by everyone is it? You think by sucking up to people you're damn fucking cool is it? Well, THINK AGAIN, FUCKFACE.
What, so now you're trying to be sarcastic to me right. You try to act as if like I'm damnnnnnnnnn affected by your ignorance and all that right. You try to make as if the whole entire world especially me owes you a whole lot of favour right. You try to act like you're damn hot and desirable right. YOU TRY BUT YOU FAIL. Fail damn badly, I tell you.
And haven't you forgotten that sms that you sent, "I HOPE WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS". You go fucking hope somewhere else. ANN-OH NO. Go away asshole.

during english,
yaya and val were showing off their pirrouetes and posay turns to ms ang.
hahahaha poor ms ang.
after english,
me yaya val eunice and tofu went to the toilet area and started doing turns.
tofu was like acting so cool about her turns,
okay lah her posay turns are not bad
i bet she goes home and practices it everyday hahaha.
yaya was like banging everything around her lah!
i was laughing so much my stomach was hurting man.

after school went to parkway for lunch with val before studying.

valencia's blog AGAIN AGAIN :
After eating at parkway, NAT and I went back to class wanting to take our back to go home, we happily barged open the class door with our BUBBLE TEA cup. Don't know whether we just suay or what, Mdm Lenny was inside the class having remedial. Then we wanted to hide but she called us in again. Asked what should she do to us since we're not allowed to bring food into the class. That stupid NAT kept quiet and i had to answer her stupid qns.

YA AND VAL'S ANSWER WAS SO SMART!
'you want to book us?'
smart. SMART.

okay gotta start mugging now (:

2006-09-14T21:59:00.000+08:00

here's a stack of chips for you;

and marshmellows on a stick;

plus nice balloons;

and a smile in the rain.

here's to you,

thanks for being the way you are.

and i know chances you're reading this is a

very small amount

cos its like what, examination period now and what what.

haha.

but BUT butttt,

i hope this is good enough.

when i said i couldnt get you out of my mind,

just know; i really meant it.

and lastly,

and will always be (:

i've been missing you all these months.

2006-09-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

MY BALLET EXAM'S OVER!
hoooooooooooooooooooray.
so happy happy happy.
and i'll go poppy poppy poppy.
like a mad lady lady lady.
hahaha.

school was pretty much a dread
cos i was anxiously waiting for the clock to move faster.
stayed for the first three periods and left immediately after recess.

went for an early lunch,
then had warm up class with ms ong.
wah she stretched my whole leg till i almost died okay
haha but it felt good.
yeah anyways so
made my way to Crown Centre.
the building didnt look that uluated this time lol.

registered in for my exam.
then went to the warm up room,
biru marissa and the other girl ( cheryl is it?) were already there.
we were all so quiet inside,
and i could hear the piano playing from inside the exam room.
i didnt feel like stretching myself anymore,
so i just sat down with my mp3 on,
and tried to gain back all my energy that i lost from the performance and class.
i kept playing 'I Believe' to get some form of motivation HAHA.
the most dreaded time was when we were just outside the exam room,
waiting for the examiner to ring the damn bell for us to go in.
i was sitting down there shaking cos it was so cold.
and my nerves were seriously getting to me.

i was number two this time!
biru was in front of me.
marissa behind me.
and cheryl ( i think its cheryl lah haha) behind behind.
bar was okay,
my right leg cramped for like awhile i dont know why
but after loosening up abit it was better.

center was hmm, okay?
haha it was alright lah.
the examiner's really friendly (:
she kept giving us breaks in between
and she had this really sincere smile.
def better than last year's one.
wah that one can die.

pointe was better than i expected!
she gave us endedan ( sp? ) turns instead of the ordinary turns.
and we skipped a few exercises in the center yay.
BUT SHE MADE US DO THE KNS POSAY TURNS.
my left side kinda sucked,
cos i didnt go up on pointe properly.
haha BUT nvm (:

IM JUST GLAD ITS OVER!

now i've got to concentrate on..
my studies!
and that upcoming esplanade performance.
we're doing oriental yay (:
and the open house for salssaaaaaa.

over my head's stuck in my head!
AGAINNNNNNNNNN.
nengnengnengneng
im going mad bye

2006-09-13T21:13:00.000+08:00

OHHHH MYYYYY GAAAWWWWDDDDDD.
MY BALLET EXAM'S.. TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
oh god, im really scared ): s: /:

sigh.

and i've decided to keep my eyes to the floor
for the whole performance shit thing.
cos i think thats the only way i wont screw up badly,
but still..
i'll screw up.
ah what the hell am i talking about
nevermind.

-

on a lighter note,
dance was fun today.
i tell you, nat's laughter is like.. madness.
haha i wonder how she does that muahahahaha thing.
and it was damn slack today yay.

zan the woMAN,
take care of that TENDON okay? ( i spelled it correctly this time! )
keep soaking it in warm water,
as geog keeps you company yeah! haha.
i hope everything recovers by friday in time for your exam,
or better still tmr.
love love (:

ah gosh im really scaaaarrrreeeedddd for tmr.
i just hope i wont lose focus inside the exam room or sth.
or worst still,
like fall flat during turns or something.
especially pointe ):

okay i should go get some sleep.
night (:

2006-09-12T14:23:00.000+08:00

i've been having ballet everyday,
i think im gonna die very soon.
yeah its energy draining man.

going back to school yesterday felt normal.
after all, the hols were only like a week?
never enough.
mrs khoo had to write the '18 DAYS TO EXAMS' thing on the board.
and mrs loy had to go 'THREE WEEKS TO YOUR EXAMS AH GIRLS'
gosh, the stress is driving me mad.

had ballet at 7 30.
we did the whole advance1 syllabus :o
the starting part of bar was okay,
then suddenly
this alienatic people from i-dont-know-where walked in.
they shooked ms ong hand and talked to her abit,
before they sat down beside her.
all of us were like 'huh?'
and ms ong just asked us to continue.

from then,
i started screwing up everything.
like seriously EVERYTHING.
and ms ong had to keep telling me to calm down.
'nat, dont tense up!'
'with confidence nat!'
confidence.
wowee.
i cant be confident doing ballet.
cos i just dont feel comfortable doing it.
so how do you become confident doing something
you dont feel comfortable doing?
its like asking a monkey to walk properly.

and i was thinking to myself,
if i already screwed up so badly like that
what more on thursday when we have to perform in the studio?
oh crap.
and whats worse is my ballet exam's after that.
die lah die.

eunice's exam is tomorrow.
gosh, i wonder how she must be feeling.
ALL THE BEST GIRL!
remember, smileeeee and make eye contact with her okay.
you'll be great (:
sorry i couldnt wish you today in person haha.

woke up this morning with a head burning like mad.
and everything was like tipsy turvy.
so i didnt go to school.
took medicine and slept all the way to 12 30.
yeah i know. damn pig.
woke up, took my medicine again.
and here i am!
with my chem book staring me in the face.
speaking of chem,
i wonder if ms ho missed her favourite student today hmm.
HAHA okay i think the medicine's getting to my head.

val told me cheetah lady fell on her ass today
when tofu pushed her chair back or something.
har har har.
i bet if it was me or val,
she would have already scratched us with her claws.

im wearing two layers of socks,
with my dance jacket over my tee.
with my slacks,
with no form of wind in my room except the open window
and yet im still so cold.
my dad thinks im mad.

if i dont get well by thursday,
im dead.

val : so how are you feeling?
me : i sound like jon leong when i talk.
val : omg your voice is hoarse? sexy!
me: sexy meh?
val: yes it is! okay maybe not for you.
me: eh. eh. all the same okay (hahaha)

okay chem's calling my name.
byee

have you ever been alone in a crowded room;

2006-09-11T14:14:00.000+08:00

nick lachey - beautiful goodbye.

i thought it was all in my head
but something felt wrong with my heart
and was i a fool to believe
that nothing could tear us apart
but little by little we changed
and maybe we'll never know why
something is gone from my touch
and it's written deep in your eyes

we'd never be the way we were
so why are we trying to pretend
if we know its gonna hurt
its better left unsaid

you dont have to say a word
cause deep inside I already know
but you cant keep holding on
just because I cant let go
I'll be alright
try not to cry
but you walk out my life
just leave me with a beautiful goodbye

forever is easy to say but now my forever is gone
cant you see nobody's right
and cant you see that nobody's wrong
im gonna miss what we had
and even though its killing me
i gotta except things the way that they are
and not the way that I wish they would be

we'd never be the way we were
so why are we trying to pretend
if we know its gonna hurt
its better left unsaid

you dont have to say a word
cause deep inside I already know
but you cant keep holding on
just because I cant let go
I'll be alright
try not to cry
but you walk out my life
just leave me with a beautiful goodbye.

2006-09-07T23:09:00.000+08:00

tick tock tick tock.

mum : sha go and sleep already. its so late.
me: wait.

a while later..

mum: nat go and sleep.
me: okay wait.

...

dad: shasha i think you should sleep. you have to get up early tmr right.
me: ya okay wait.

..

dad: na-ta-sha. what is the time now?
me: i dont know. wait.

...

mum: okay im turning off the lights.
me: WAAAAAITTTT PLEASE?

gosh my parents have been driving me nuts over the past few hours.

just let me wait okay.
so i can make a good and proper wish
sigh (:

15 will be a good year.
i'll make sure of that (:

2006-09-07T16:19:00.000+08:00

love is actually.. all around.

went back to school today for math.
i was early, haha suprisingly.
the whole 3/3 gang was occupying the umbrellas in the circular block
while waiting for mdm lenny
and our umbrella only consisted of me syikin jannah and hamiza.
everyone else was at the other umbrella awww ): haha.
we felt so loserish.
had our lesson at the AVT.
there was this disgusting lizard that was on our side of the room.
jazreel was freaking out man
mdm lenny was like
'jazreel, lizards cant fly you know'
haha right.

we were freezing inside lah.
mdm lenny did our height to navel dont know what measurements today,
but i forgot all my measurements from the last time
so yeah i couldnt do it.
and she said if you're a 1. 618 can be supermodel already.
then some people sitting behind me were like
'oh, im 1. 61. quite close'
and i turned to eunice and we both started giggling.
god, some people just cant get enough of themselves.

got back our spring test and total marks.
didnt do very well, but yeah whats done is done i guess.

then after the lesson,
me eunice syikin and yaya headed for erm.. BRUNCH.
haha.
before leaving the school, we saw mrs ngin's son!
we were like
us : are you ryan?
boy : *acting cool* er ya?
us: oh AHHHHHHHH!
and we started screaming and running towards him like he was some idol
hahaha madness.
i think we scared the hell outta him.
poor boy lol.

went to parkway.
couldnt decide what we wanted to eat,
so we headed to parkway builders for macs!
we sat right at the end of macs,
where it was all hot and stuffy (thanks to syikin haha)
we saw some erm.. people.
anyway,
cos we were not really happy with our seats
me and yaya walked all around to look for a better seat.
there was this old lady with grey hair,
who was occupying a whole four seat area
when she could have just taken a two seat table.
yaya was like
'okay. lets sit here. then we throw her out'
haha throw her out, im sure!
after a long time,
we finally found a nice spot (:

after lunch we decided to do some stuffs.
hahaha it was hilarious lah.
and i think we were making alot of noise inside.
but i had fun really :D
hooga hooga!

then headed home.
oh yes, have i mentioned how loud syikin's music is?!
i was listening to my own music,
and through my earphones
I COULD HEAR HER MUSIC!
i was like
me: syikin. isnt your music abit too loud?
syikin: *no reply*
me: SYIKIINNNNN!
syikin: ...ya ya ya what!
but she's so funny lah haha.

okay i should get some sleep before tution.

lalalalalalala
LATER (:

i love this song.
Jewel - Foolish Games.

well in case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees, and..

these foolish games are tearing me apart,
and your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.
you're breaking my heart.

you took your coat off and stood in the rain,
you're always crazy like that.

2006-09-06T19:37:00.000+08:00

the impertinence of such a thought
may resound like clashing symbols in your head
all the noise and sound
the sound and noise

thinking over the illogical
penetrating the impenetrable
comprehending the incomprehensible

but the incredibility of the incredible
always leaving us with our mouths agape
for the astounding tranquility possessed in heightened hysteria
and the moment of lucidity in all this madness

this is all it boils down to

-

and still

i miss the way you used to smell, moon flower.

you know what i'd really like as a gift?

just five minutes of your time.

2006-09-06T17:17:00.000+08:00

hushed with a finger;

dancing to sexy back is just.. AH :D
really sexxaaayeeeee.

class today was good.
i think having class everyday is healthy! in a way.
cos like you maintain your strength and yada yada.
haha okay i dont know what im talking about.
but its just really terrifying to know that my exam's in erm.. a week?
less than a week?
haha im dead.
and this time i wont have any birthday luck lol.

polished up the dance study today
i think i look funnaaye doing the waltz.
haha maybe its just me.
ms ong made me stand beside the radio
close my eyes and just listen to the music
cos she kept telling me that i have to feeeellll the dance.
okay i'll try,
once i feel comfortable with the steps.
BUT THE THING IS I HAVE NO FREAKING TIME.
EXAM'S LIKE HOW NEAR AHHHH ):
okay nat chill.

there's math supplementary tmr.
dammit.

thaaatttt bitch.

hahahahaha kidding darling i love you!

get your sexy on :D

2006-09-04T18:18:00.000+08:00

Over My Head - The Fray
I never knew
I never knew that everything
Was falling through
That everyone I knew
Was waiting on a queue
To turn and run
When all I needed was the truth

But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to
Nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way
Than stay and see
The smoke and who's still
Standing when it clears

And Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger
I could disengage
Just say that we agree
And then never change
Soften a bit
Until we all just get along

But that's disregard
You find another friend
And you discard
As you lose the argument
In a cable car
Hanging above
As the canyon comes between

And Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly
I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part
That don't last
I'm losing you
And its effortless

Without a sound
We lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted
To bring it down
I won't let it go down
'Till we torch it ourselves

And Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Eveyone Knows
She's on your mind
Everyone Knows
Im in over my head
Im in over my head

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

2006-09-04T13:34:00.000+08:00

boo im bored.

and really hooked onto Sexy Back by Justin T.
go to val's blog and check it out man!
http://paperbandages.blogspot.com

i need to start studying for geog.
cos i'll just die if i dont start NOW.

life's been pretty boring.
i've been dancing dancing and dancing.
boooooooooooooooooooooo.

my hair's in a mess.

i wanna drink bubble tea.

i officially deleted my other blog.

i think sharmen's sexaye.

a walk to remember
ah (:

OKAY I SHOULD GET BACK TO BIO NOW
BYE.

if the world were a little more cruel,
i would've kicked you in the balls.

2006-08-31T21:25:00.001+08:00

shoutout to all the contemp dancers:
YOOOO GUYS!
yay we finally did it,
and it wasnt so bad was it? haha.
the dance wouldnt have been the way it was today,
if it wasnt for all the effort every single one of us put in
and all the hard work and sweat during morning / recess / after-school practices
so yay, it has finally paid off (:
and to the other three sec3 dancers,
i know this is probably the last time we perform for teachers day in tk.
im really thankful that we were able to pull this off together as seniors,
no matter how much we had to shout at the juniors
and all the sweat and pain-sucking time it took for us to choreograph the item,
piecing everything together.
but we did it.
i love you guys (:
I LOVE ALL OF YOU EMO CRAZY HAIR CONTEMP DANCERS! :D

teachers day celebrations.

woohooo.
reached school early, it was POURING outside.
and it was damn cold lah!
haha and the rain was like coming into the corridor areas.
made our way to the hall for contemp practice.
the prefects and AVA people were there,
including mr colin and ms saffiah (i cant remember how you spell her name haha)
so yeah,
we started practising and we even got the oppurtunity of practising once with the music
all the nice people (:
haha.
then at one point,
they started playing Upside Down by ATEENS
and we were like doing our kicks and steps to that music.
haha we were making a fool out of ourselves lah
and the sec4s who were in the hall were laughing at us mann.

assembly was crazy.
yaya was like singing the national anthem all funny and disgustingly,
the rest of us around her were all silently laughing
then at the end of it,
she turned to eunice and said
'eunice, your singing so horrible ah tsk tsk'
haha idiot.

then we made our way back to class,
and after singing all the Happy Teachers Day songs
we played charades!
hahahaha first we started off guessing teachers.
yaya imitated mrs loy, with her big eyes.
jannah imitated ms ho!, and she pretended to drag a trolley into the class and use a microphone.
haha so obvious lah.
michelle imitated mdm lenny, the 5 4 3 2 1 method.
khai imitated mrs khong, HERS WAS DAMN HILARIOUS.
she came in and said
'class, just give me 5 mins of your time'
then she started yacking away.
and yaya went
'one day later..'
and she was still yacking away!
yaya went
'two days later..'
AND SHE WAS STILL YACKING AWAY!
then finally yaya went
'a whole year later..'
and khai said
'and this is why the sec3 cohord always does well for napfa girls'

haha you might not understand it
unless you're one of the classes mrs kong takes for pe.

after that we headed to the hall for..
ACES DAY!
OH YAY ALL SO GAY!
haha rhymes.
we were all so high high high.
yaya who was standing behind me KEPT BOXING MY PONYTAIL.
walau i wanted to turn around and box her okay haha.
syikin who was standing beside her was screaming her extremely high-pitched scream
haha madness.
and eunice who was standing beside me was jumping screaming laughing shouting almost the whole way!
basically, everyone was high
but it was really fun :D
especially with that gay trainer around hahaha.
woohooo.

then dancers gathered backstage to get ready.
the dressing room was oh-so-freaking hot.
and with us wearing our leotard plus tights plus dance uni,
woah can die.
haha but i guess it was fun preparing and everything.
everyone was hogging the mirror to put our make-up,
which was supposed to be black eye shadow.
but it looked more like we got punched in the face or something.
haha.
the jazz went up to perform first,
i loved their shimmery eye stuff!
but i couldnt really see the dance properly being backstage and everything.
then soon it was our turn,
my heart was boom-pa-paing once the curtain opened.
haha dont ask me why
it just FELT like there were alot of people down in the audience
and since i was facing the back i couldnt really see anything.
lol but once it started,
i didnt feel that bad anymore (:

after the celebrations,
ms terry and mrs chia gave us a small talk
before we were released.
went to find teachers to give out the teachers day gifts.
then went to town with eunice dian tofu and chermaine to catch a movie.
we were practically walking in the rain the whole time lah,
and i was trying to look for shelter underneath other people's umbrellas at traffic lights.
haha how lame.
ate at long john, and.. we were late for our movie.
me and eunice missed the first part cos we went out to get popcorn
aww shucks haha.
the show was okkaayyyish lah.
yeah, but i was freezing inside the cinema /:

went to walk around for awhile after that.
it was still.. raining.
haha.
when me and dian walked into adidas,
suddenly that electronic system thing at the entrance of the store
(the one to catch pickpockets and stuff)
started beeping!
me and dian just stood there cos we were both shocked
haha but the man just asked us to walk past.
then when we walked out again,
it sounded again!
oh my god.
went to find the rest at another shop.
when i walked in,
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.
and i was like what the?!
dian just started laughing down there.
then the shopowner asked me if i bought anything and didnt pay for it,
and i was like no? i just walked into the shop!
so he kept my bag for me while we walked around the shop.
before leaving i took my bag,
walked out of the shop
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.
i was so embarrassed lah my goodness.
and stupid tofu was like
'aiyo nat what did you take ah!'

went to new urban male.
this time, i DID NOT DARE BRING MY BAG INSIDE
haha nooo wayyy.
chermaine was helping me hold it outside
while me and eunice were walking around inside.
stupid suay bag.

afterward,
we parted and me dian tofu headed home.
on the train, we were talking about bras.
and you know tofu's voice is like how loud
so can you just imagine how maluated we felt after we realised
like probably half the cabin heard what we said!
haha ohwell.
came home,
rushed like mad for ballet.
i was late ( expected)
and we did elementary barre work today!
no yippee for me cos i couldnt remember anything at all.
so i was practically copying steps haha.
but class was short and sweet.
yay i like.

i have an early class tmr,
and then im probably gonna come home and mug.
mug mug mug.
interesting (:

night!

2006-08-27T22:55:00.000+08:00

doves have no place or purpose here.

and so it hits me again-
a wave of bitter, stinging, radical, intimate
kind of nostalgia-
sometimes i wish i could take everything back
eventually i'll always come round to my senses,
but i can wish
and i can hope
and i can sigh
and i can remember,
and i would cry.
okay maybe i'll not post up stuff on this blog.

im in love with Fallen by Sarah Mclachlan.
that was random enough.

nights.

2006-08-26T13:42:00.000+08:00

and you ask me what i want this year
and i try to make this kind and clear
just the chance that maybe we'll find better days
cos i dont need boxes wrapped in strings
and desire love and empty things
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.

so take these words and sing out loud
cos everyone is forgiven now
cos tonight's the night the world begins again

Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls.

i was listening to the song and realised i could sorta relate to it.
hmm.

yesterday was a kinda bad day.
we had the boxing thing first period.
tofu was so damn gay okay, haha.
and she was looking for people to stand on tables with her on aces day.
haha too overly enthu already.

chem was suckyo.
wasnt really paying attention to ms ho
but i was writing in my erm book.
and the tears just came..
then my mood became suckyo as well.
so i just spent the whole period burying my head beneath my arms.
and it dragged all the way to bio period.

i went to the toilet and spent about 15 mins there.
and i wasnt exactly in the toilet,
i was just standing at the railing area.
for i dont know what apparent reason.
and the tears just flowed down again.
god, i wanted to rip my heart open.

recess was the teacher's day rehearsal.
we screwed up really badly, being unprepared and everything.
and i mean, after all
the outcome of the dance does reflect on me jamie zan and shi hua
cos we're the oldest out of the whole contemp group.
and i dont want to be reflected as a good for nothing senior.
or dancer.
or whatever.
yeah, you get my point.

yada yada the day went by quite fast.
after school, had contemp practice.
i was so bloody tired oh my god.
there were a few times when i just plonked myself on the floor cos i was so dead.
and i felt like i needed to get away from all of this.
yeah, i do.
but i hope i dont give up.
okay what am i talking about?!
i wont.

sigh, i've got disgusting marks.
and im irritated that i've got disgusting marks.
and im irritated by the fact that im irritated that i've got disgusting marks.

the thing is, i WANT to do well, and throughout this whole term,
my work has not been meeting my expectations. at all.
i know my term3 marks are dropping.
and i cant pretend that i dont care.
bcos no matter how much i go on and on about
how marks are just numbers on a piece of paper
and we all know how numbers are self-serving,
i do care.

not bcos i wanna get good marks for the sake of getting them,
but as a student, i have nothing but marks
to gauge my standard
and who doesnt want to be of a high standard?

and i also know very well that even if you put in all the effort in the world,
the results you get at the end of the day may not reflect that.
i know that painful fundamental truth about life.
but knowledge doesn't make it less painful
or less irritating or less bothersome.

gosh, i hate ranting.
but it is something thats bothering me
so i might as well get it off my chest.
sorry for listening to my rubbish.

i keep falling,
and falling,
and falling,
and falling,

but i don't want you to be there to catch me.

like how i used to.
i didn't catch you,
i just stopped your fall.

no, let me fall.

you should.

i need to learn.

maybe you could stand by, silently, motionlessly.
you could watch me fall.
watch me get hurt.
over and over and over again.
and then maybe, you could help me up.
i don't think i would want you to,
but i don't know what i want most of the time,
so don't trust me.

but i really don't want you to catch me.
do you know?

maybe i don't want you to
bcos i'm so used to it,
that i've grown comfortable,
so comfortable that i'm afraid.
afraid,
of how you wouldn't want to be there any more.

so i'd rather get used to it now.
you know,
after all,
it's falling.
i've fallen many times.
and you know, each time it hurts,
i'll flinch.
and once i get the reaction i want from people,
i'll just stand up.
not cos i want to.
but because i have to.

i'm also afraid,
of how i won't fall in your direction anymore.
because,
i don't want you to get hurt.

i want to be unpredictable.
you know, bcos i wanna be special.
despite the fact that i know thats never gonna happen.

look at me then look away.
why dont you just stay.

2006-08-25T21:20:00.000+08:00

okay so here are the farewell pictures!

RETRONACHO HUBBALABOO BASH!

i came up with the word hahaha.

thats bel explaining the games to them.

this was some funny hand game haha.

we were having fun in the kitchen.

yay (:

our eyes were looking everywhere!

group photo (:

dana : aiyo ah nia how to sit with my skirt ah.

much better (:

nat jamie shi hua and nat.

oooh yummy food.

i just realised gloria's shirt is the same colour as ms chiam's car.

ALL SQUASHED UP.

i have no idea what we were doing.

haha THIS TWO AH.

nat and nat.

we were trying to act like wax figurines. HAHA.

THE SEC4 DANCERS.

i love you guys, thanks for being the great seniors that you've been.

thanks for being the way you are

and i thank you, for you (:

me, nat and jamie went upstairs to hang around.

i was messing up with the broom cos i was sweeping the area.

and when they took this shot, they ran down screaming and shouting cos they said my eyes look possessed. hahaha.

haha zan was trying to scare everyone.

after the farewell, the sec3s had to stayback to clear up.

but before that, we headed to pasir ris beach for a walk (:

i love making fun of this fatty (:

this lady is BLUR i tell you.

ah i love the beach.

supposedly me and dana.

the picture abit the dark ah.

i actually wanted to take a scandalous picture of this woman's butt.

apparently i failed haha.

tralala.

i didnt post every single picture up.

but i think this is enough (:

2006-08-20T21:46:00.000+08:00

i have sunk so low

i was early for class today.
so i just sat in the studio, watching the baby class.
haha gosh they're so cute
with their protuding stomachs and their pink leotards (:
but i was bloody bored.

then after that,
the studio was empty.
with only me, sitting there.
haha and it was kinda quiet actually.
but i was still, bloody bored.

THEN.
guess who comes to save the day?
WEN YANG :D
okay i think im starting to idolise him.
by the way, if you dont know who he is,
he's one of the most fantasticosuperisticamazing pianist that walked the planet.
so yeah anyway,
he came and saw me sitting down there.
and he was like
'you're having class today right?'
with that smileeee
and i was like
'oh ya *laugh laugh laugh*'
i betcha he thought i was mad.
then he sat down on the piano bench
and started playing all the diff types of songs.
ah, so nice (:
and just to dance to his playing is like..
wow (:

at least im not as bad as xin hui.
she's madly in love with him!
and so is sherona.
she even gave him a tiny paper star.
haha so cute.
and i was the delivery woman

but im not like madly crushing on him or anything.
SO DONT GET THE WRONG IDEA OKAY.
i just love the way his music makes me feel oh-so-nice
and it takes me some place far away (:
isnt this better than falling for a person's looks.
you fall for their strengths.
and you fall for their flaws as well.
cos nobody's perfect, we all know this.
so ah, its a nice feeling.

dumpy dumdee doo dumpy dunman doma doleh.

okay i dont know what im talking about.

i should probably get back to my trigo nono.

please let tmr be a good day.
for once.

2006-08-18T19:44:00.000+08:00

when you try your best but you don't succeed
when you get what you want but not what you need
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep
stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

and high up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
but if you never try you'll never know
just what you're worth

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace
tears stream down your face
and i..

tears stream down your face
i promise you i will learn from my mistakes
tears stream down your face
and i..

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

i dont exactly find the song VERY nice.
but the lyrics are.. meaningful.
and there are parts in the song where there's background noises
like screaming and calling out of names
i think its from the O.C.
haha i dont know, just sounds like it.
its kinda sad actually.

school was fine.
except for the freaking chem test.
succcckeeeed okaaaayyyyyy.
esp the 2nd 3rd and 4th question.
i stared at it, okay cannot do.
skip.
moved on to 3rd question.
okay cannot do also.
skip.
and i just kept skipping and skipping and skipping.
val was also doing that lah haha.

after school was like mad times infinity.
but it was fun.
at one point of time, i wore dana's cola candy outfit
and started prancing around.
she even took a video of it okay!
haha.

i wanna go star-gazing again.
anyone?

2006-08-17T21:32:00.000+08:00

because this time, its different.

gohoho i dont really know what to blog about right now.

im feeling really stupid now cos of chem.
chem. chem. chem.
mole. mole. mole.
die. die. die.
please. please. please.
i stared at one question for like 5 mins
then i was thinking okay maybe i should try the next one
then i moved on to the next question and stared at it again.
i just kept doing this and realised
i wasnt getting anywhere at all!
pretty dumb huh.
and if that wasnt bad enough,
i started doodling all over my worksheet.
woww do i rock or what.
ms ho's gonnna be so prouudddd of meeee.
gosh im getting irritating.

but really, my results this term are like..
shit.
okay its probably worst than shit.
which is bad.
i dont know whats wrong with me.
i study so bloody damn hard, and this comes out of it.
and everytime i get back a test paper,
im like eiaowodjcknsjgf.
and it just spoils my whole day.
i dont know why it bothers me so much that i dont do well
but it does.
i mean, who doesnt want to do well right.
but, i dont know.
sigh im so demoralised,
i need serious motivation man.
maybe i was born to be stupid.

in the lonely light of morning

in the wound that would not heal

it's the bitter taste of losing everything

that I've held so dear.

im counting on fate.

2006-08-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

today during legacy mrs khong was talking about i dont know what rubbish,
then she asked
mrs khong : what would each of you like to change about yourself, physically?
whole class: *silence and just stares back at her*
mrs khong: okay.. who's the bimbo of the class?
whole class: NA-TA-SHAAA!
me: WHAT?! NO!

and i glared at tofu cos i know she shouted the name the loudest.
WHAT THEEEEEE.
please okay, im not a bimbo.
im not insulting them, but.. im just not one lah!

then i started defending myself in class.
like hello,
who's the one with
a compact mirror (its pink),
nail clipper,
buffer,
lip balm, lip gloss (pink too),
ten thousand coloured rubberbands (mostly pink) and clips,
a small AND big comb (they're BOTH pink ),
and fragrant body lotions that she brings to school everyday?
i know..
JAZREEEEELLLLLL TAN!
so yeah, that makes her more of a bimbo than me thanks.

that bootylicious boob woman.

it was raining like maaad today.
cold, but nice (:

screw the RAD mode.
walau spoil my day only.
i cant believe i was so BLIND.

oh yeah, lets talk about yesterday.
school was alright,
javana was talking in our indianey lango.
ooh yes (:
then after school, had shake and adiemus practice at the voideck.
so me and zan were just.. being our lame selves as usual.
and we started talking crap, like seriously
crap.
so then she looked at me and said
zan: nat, look.. at the trees *points behind*
and she gave me a i-know-it-all-and-you-dont face.
and i was thinking okay she's trying to be random huh
so me ( trying to act smart back) said
nat: zan, look.. at my ear *points to NOSE*
and almost immediately zan just burst out into laughter and started rolling around the floor.
IT TOOK ME LIKE ALMOST 5 SECS TO REALISE WHY SHE WAS LAUGHING.
then i started rolling around the voideck and covering my face cos i was so embarrassed!
hahaha gosh why do stuff like that always happen to me!

and even today,
when i was on the train home with daph and jamie.
hahahaha okay lah i dont wanna malu myself any further.
there's really no one else in the world that could be more blur and sotong as me, seriously.
FINE, I ADMIT IT OKAY OKAY OKAY.

mum's birthday was today.
so after ballet,
we headed for dinner.
my mum was quite shocked with the gift i got her.
dont ask me why.
it was just.. weird.
then she was like
mum: you didnt have to get me anything lah.
me: nvm lah. its your birthday what.
mum: i dont need a present that comes in a box
me: then what do you want?
mum: promise me you'll work hard for your ballet exam. and your studies.

and when she said that,
i was totally speechless.
i mean okay, i can promise her that.
but its whether i'll do well or not.
and for my ballet exam,
gosh its not like im a fantastic ballet dancer
so promising her something like that will be kinda risky.
but its got me thinking alot
okay, forget it
i'll work hard.

it starts eyes closed,
to fingers crossed.

to i swear, i say.

2006-08-13T13:11:00.000+08:00

1. what are you thinking about right now?
amath.

2. stretch your left arm out as far as you can
my cup of water.

3. what is the last thing you watched on TV
oh my i cant remember!

4.without looking, guess what time it is.
1. 30?

5. now look at the clock. what is the actual time
1 40 ( i was close )

6.with the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
music. my noisy fan.

7. when did you last step outside? what were you doing?
this morning. going for class.

8. before you started this survey what did you look at?
the rain pouring outside my window.

9. what are you wearing?
black shirt and shorts.

10. did you dream last night?
yeah.

11. when did you last laugh?
just now when some fatty called.

12. what is on the walls of the room you are in?
erm wallpaper? aircon. mirrors (:

13. seen anything weird lately?
yes, something really sick on youtube.

14. what do you think of this quiz?
okay but kinda pointless.

15. what is the last film you saw?
hmm me&jamie bought the house of wax vcd. DISGUSTING I TELL YOU.

16. if you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
hahaha gosh where do i even start!

17. tell me something about you that i don't know.
i find mrs khoo's armpits pretty interesting.

18. if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
poverty.

19, do you like to dance?
very much (:

20. George W Bush... american?
he was from bangladesh, are you that stupid?

21. imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
haha never thought about it

22. imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
if i ever give birth to a boy, i would think about it then.

23. have you ever considered living abroad?
definitely.

24. what do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
enjoy your afterlife.

25. 4 people who must do this in their journal
somebody anybody nobody everybody.

i always found that people in the bus stop looked very interesting.
all of them are looking towards one direction, as if waiting for the same thing,
as if hoping for the same thing.
of course they are waiting for different buses,
some for the same.
some of them can take several buses,
some only one.
some of them miss their buses,
some of them have to wait.
till the very end, the bus that we want to take will come.
or is that just what we take for granted?

its weird.
you know,
you can really understand a person but at the same time you can really know nothing about her at all and although she's there and she assures you that she is, she may not really be.

doesnt this sound familiar.

sometimes i dont talk much simply bcos
i dont want to.
i like watching and listening.
cos only then you will notice many things
that you've overlooked before.

of course, its always the little things in life that truly matter.

amath.
shooooo away please.

im praying that you dont burn out.

2006-08-11T22:08:00.000+08:00

im just so tired of caring.

2006-08-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

school today was sooooooooo damn slack okay.
first period : pe.
some of our classmates went to do the re-test for their 5 items in the hall
and the rest of us decided to play captain's ball at the basketball court.
so we divided ourselves into grps of 8,
and i had people like tofu hamiza khai the freaking cheetah woman amira in my group.
the game turned extremely crazy
and then all of us started screaming as we passed the ball to each other.
when i say scream, i dont mean like soft aaaahh
IM TALKING LOUD BA BOOM AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
like for example,
when jannah caught the ball
me and tofu would go up to either sides of the ear and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
cos she was in the opposing team and we were venting our anger on her.
hahahaha.
and 3/2, who were having their 2.4 run at that time, we like laughing at us as they ran past.
hahahaha.

chem was not that slack but aiya nevermind ho.

we went to the comp lab for bio.
haha i sat beside jannah since zah and nadia didnt come today.
she's so focused when she does her work i tell you.
my gosh.
okay I MUST LEARN TO BE LIKE HER :D
then we started talking about spore idol with mrs ngin
i have no idea how it started.

english was slack cos ms ang wasnt around.

legacy, we had to do this intimate physical sexual thing.
as in not DO IT.
mrs ngin was like explaining it to us and bla bla.
but basically me val jaz and eu were slacking at the back lah.
then, school ended.

YEAH SEE HOW SLACK THE DAY WAS!

i tell you if school was like that everyday
wooo i'll sure fail everything.

after school had dance.
the trainers from i dont know where came to teach the aces day dance.
MY GOD IT LOOKED BLOODY DAMN GAY OKAY.
the dancers were trying out the steps from the back,
kjrehoosswfnx,mzac.lasfdlas!
you call that aces day dance, seriously?!
its like almost boxing the whole way?
eh hello, this is not boxing day leh.
but whatever lah.

val went to help out for abit and she came over to our side.
val, look at the three words i wrote on your hand.
you were really like that today youuu knowwww.
yeah anyway,
then we started crapping, indian style!
and talking about the cheetah woman and her nips.
hahahaha that girl's hilarious i tell you.
and then while we were dancing,
she was like
'nat please stop. you cannot make it'
EEVVVVVEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL!
haha B--

dont you just hate the weekends.
i know i do.

isnt it a lovely day
to be caught in the rain?
you were going your way
now you've got to remain

you've got what gets me
what gets me, you've got
you've got what gets me
i just dont know what

we'll carry cocktail umbrellas in the rain;

2006-08-10T18:20:00.000+08:00

have you ever seen dancers who really dance?
bodies that leap and ribbon across spaces
other people didnt notice were there.

its almost like a rollercoaster-
but when you dance,
its not metal and plastic that determine where you twist and turn
its where you choose to go;

and i have chosen.
up
down
up
down
sideways-

there are more sideways than ups
and more downs than sideways.

anyone can dance.
but how do you differentiate those that really dance from the heart
than the rest who just dance to impress?
simple,
just watch a certain dancer and if you midway feel being drawn to that dancer
and her movements,
then you'll know she's dancing from within.
cos dancers are supposed to leave behind a
fascination.
they're supposed to sweep you off your feet,
just by doing their thang and dancing to please no one else but themselves.

whatever else otherwise is pure rubbish.

the ground will always pull me down;

but i still, choose to dance.

2006-08-10T09:24:00.000+08:00

an Ode.

i used to find any excuse to hold his hand
they were always much larger than mine
warmth and comfort there i'd find

his hands never had sweat, unlike mine
his veins protruding like
were always the object of my admiration

i loved the way he felt so strong
just the touch of his hand
always made me feel so protected

before the crossing of roads
i would find my way to him
and slip my hand into his

knowing he would protect me from the monsters on those grey paths

things if within his means
he would always get for me
going all out of his way
just to satisfy my inexhaustible wants

this is My Father
this man I hold so much respect for

but now im starting to find
that im no longer filled with the love and admiration i used to have for him

finding him a constant nag
finding every conversation with him a chore

but deep down inside
i know if i saw him cry

my insides would tear apart

because this is the man i love with all my heart

seeing him getting on in years
watching the transition of his appearance
turning into the old man that he'll be one day

i can't help but want to hold his hand again
feel the warmth in it all again
and thank him for all he's done for me

when i woke up this morning,
a old picture screamed for my attention in my mother's room
it was a picture of me and my dad.
after taking a good look at it,
tears just rolled down my face.
maybe its bcos he's been away for a whole 8 days and i miss him.

or maybe its bcos i've been missing him all along.

2006-08-09T15:15:00.000+08:00

you drive me off tangent;

woo havent blogged in a while.

quraisha: sexaye lady! haha i dont care about emily lah. whateveeerr to heerrrr.
raihan: eh, hello! (:
elyy: you are mabuk. just admit it okay. haha.
audrey: hahahaha but you found it what!
jastine: okay tagged (:
sabrina: BOOYOU. i still havent visited your blog yet.
zan: ahaha now i never dare to walk through that area anymore! yeah it was (:
iis nat: YES IM NATASHA THE FART thank you very much :D love you too!
limin: i know! happy NAT day! (:
sakina: eh sakiNEHHHHH. nak chill kat kedai kopi minum teh panas? HAHA.
deborah: heyy how've you been? miss you too (:
yan: hahaha she SO did man. but lets just pretend she didnt. and im not emooo lahhhhhhhhh backside :d
jasmine: hey! i know i owe you something harhar :D
jamie: you did not just call me fat. WHO'S THE HOTTY HERE MAN. hahaha kidding. dont care about her lah. smile (:
valencia: val, although you're like retarded, i still love you (:

nat day celebrations yesterday was okay.
but it didnt seem as fun as the past two years.
i think the school's losing our enthu spirit man.
i can still remember when i was in sec1
and totally blown away by the amount of enthuaism tk possessed.
but now its like :/
kay nevermind!

choreographed for teachers day yesterday.
i think we've achieved alot more thank god.
then rested for a while before heading for class.
took a train down to dhoby ghaut.
my mum went to parkmall to look for i dont know what furniture stuff.
and i headed to plaza sing to meet the rest.

so i was walking walking walking into plaza sing
and i couldnt hear anything except the music playing on my earphones
i headed to pastamania
none of them were inside.
and i was like okaaaaayyyyy. cos we were initially supposed to meet there.
then i couldnt find my phone either
cos my bag was bloody big and it was probably somewhere deep inside
so i just kept walking around hoping to bump into them
but i still couldnt find them!
then suddenly while i was walking past Times,
heather came from behind me and like grabbed my hand.
and she was like
'NAT ARE YOU DEAF OR BLIND OR SOMETHING?!'
my gosh i got a shock lah.
then the rest came running and xin hui was like
'you know how much we shouted for you and waved from downstairs!'
haha gosh i was so embarrassed s:
sorry!

i've been having classes like crazy now.
within 48 hours, there's like 4 classes?
and what more i havent fully recovered.
when i went for class last night,
ms ong was like
'are you sure you want to do pointe?'
and i was like
'ya can i try?'
and she was like okay.
then after barre and center,
we changed into our pointe shoes.
and once she saw me on my pointe shoes with the ankle guard,
she asked me to sit down and just watch class.
boo ):
i tried convincing her that i was okay
and that i just needed the guard for support in case my ankle would give away again.
but ah she didnt allow it ):
my exam's drawing near.
and my pointe work isnt exactly perfect or anything.
if i dont start practising soon,
i can just be prepared to fail really.
ended class at 10 45 last night.

woke up at 6 30 this morning for class and took a train to parkmall
met the fatties at Hans for breakfast,
but i just slept while they ate. haha.
ms ong was on time, suprisingly.
hahaha and she was sweeping the studio for us (:
class was alright.
i need to work on my pirrouetes!
baaaahhhh baaahhhh black sheep.

oh yeah i was gonna blog about something.
on monday during geog,
i just suddenly turned to jaz and asked her
nat: jaz how come your boobs are so big but you're so skinny ah?
jaz : nat, my mother's skinnier than me and she's an E cup.
nat: *takes about 5 seconds to understand that* ... WHAT?! my god, how big is an E?!
and i think i said that a little too loudly
that mrs khoo had to do her long shhhhhhhh thing (haha)
then val and yaya heard.
and they started kpoing too.
val: isnt like an E cup damn big?!
jaz: no lah, not really. just abit bigger than a D what.
nat: no wonder you so big.
yaya: then your grandmother leh?
hahahaha.
gosh. sorry if you found the convo above offensive.

i'll do the vajana story later (:

now, i shall go sleep.
and then study amaths.

time will tell.
thats what hurts.
time will heal the part that hurts.

but we only have now.

2006-08-05T22:16:00.000+08:00

the sound of our hearts like castanettes;

so take me on a carousel,

there was dance in school today again.
ms chiam wasnt THAT late.
but still, late.
she brought little chloe again
she's so adorable (:
me zan daph and jamie wanted to kidnap her home okay.
and she's on the wallpaper of my phone yay.

after that headed to plaza with zan&jamie.
lunched at long john.
walked around for abit,
found this really nice wedges at Outfitter Girls.
i want it please
then walked up the bloody fort canning hill for ballet.
me and zan decided to take the same route up as last week,
although we saw like this rat running across the bushes
and it sorta freaked us out
cos we were walking then suddenly the rat just ran across!
but we thought aiya okay like how can it possibly happen again right.
so we were walking..
then at the point before that suay bush area
we slowed down our speed cos we were really tired
so we were just slouching our shoulders and walking with heavy steps
and when i turned around,
this black thing just ran across the bush
AND IT WAS SO FREAKING NEAR MY LEG!
i got so bloody shocked that my phone almost flew out of my hands okay.
and yeah, i screamed.
then zan screamed.
then we both went mad.

and we didnt dare to cross that bush area after that.
so we had to walk the looonnnggg way back
and up the flight of stairs.
madness.

my ankle ):

2006-08-01T19:48:00.000+08:00

napfa was today!!
haha okay lah i didnt screw up that bad.
at least i think i improved from last year?
yeah, hopefully so (:

mrs ngin took up our bio time today to talk to us.
i guess whatever she said was true..
and if she's really determined to go all out to help all 34 of us,
i think we should do the same in return
cos its only fair.
im really lucky to have a fm like her.

we had bio in the comp lab.
and it was paired work.
and who was i unfortunately paired up with?
yes, nadia.
hahahahaha! okay joke.
syikin and sakiNEH were sitting opposite us.
and the whole time when me and nadia were talking in malay to each other,
they kept laughing at us lah.
haha but syikin was so cute.
i told nadia that i didnt like her last time in 2/7
cos she stood beside me during assembly every single day
and she was so BISING
and i even thought she was a minah!
yeah, i guess you can never judge a book by its cover (:
but she's so cute lah really!
she was telling me about the time where her classmate pulled her pinafore
from the back and tore it straight down
AND SHE WENT TO STAPLE THE PINAFORE BACK TOGETHER.
haha pandaiiiiii ahhhhh.

for legacy today,
we had to get into groups of 3 or 4
and do up three different designs for some antidrug thing.
i grouped up with val, tofu and nadia.
aiyo those three ah
KNS I TELL YOU.
val was forever trying to act all serious,
and tofu was spastically laughing throughout
and nadia..
well nadia was kinda laughing too.
in her horsey way. hahaha.
haha those three are MAADDDDDDD.

after napfa, headed to tampines with eunice jamie and val.
dined at pastaaaamaniaaaaaa (:
my food took ages to come lah!
sickening.
then eunice left shortly after for ballet.
me jamie and val headed home.
something stupid happened.
cos the three of us wanted to take the cargo lift down,
instead of the normal lift
so it was kinda empty and everything.
then we went in,
and the lift made its way down..
the door opened.
i stepped out
and val was just a few steps behind me.
at first i was like ehhhhhh
cos it didnt look like the first floor
but i thought okay nvm maybe its cos i dont take the cargo lift often
so i dont know the route.
then i turned around and was wondering why the hell jamie didnt get out of the lift
and i saw her standing at the lift door,
laughing so hard i think she could've almost rolled on the floor and died.
then i looked up to the level sign..
and it said LEVEL TWO.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha! we ran back into the lift laughing so damn hard.
i felt like such a loser okay.
BUT VAL'S MORE OF A LOSER COS SHE FOLLOWED ME!
stupider follows the stupid.
HOW WONDERFUL.

goodness how blur can i get :/

grah there's malay oral tmr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and amath springy testy.

i should really start on lit.

in the meantime,
let me tell you something.

*pauses*

*gestures*

come here.

let me whisper in your ear.

but oh no.
telling you would only make me vulnerable.
exposed.
bare.

it only lets you know the power you have over me

*pauses*

but i'll tell you anyway.

hmm?

oh,
nothing.

something in your eyes was so inviting.
something in your smile was so exciting.
something in my heart told me it would be worth it.

okay okay,
i know.
lit.

wait, oh no.
its already 8. 40.

shit.
lit.

haha,
rhymes.

this is the way it should be,
for lovers.
so,
draw yourself near.

and
this IS a happy entry (:

2006-07-31T20:50:00.000+08:00

HELLOOOOO.
Like guess who's here guest-blogging for ya?

Okay I chickened out on the trannie post that i wanted to do, cos i'm afraid it's gonna turn all your readers unstraight and then they'll tell all their mamas about how your blog corrupted their minds. Ho ho so i thunk better not la. psst but i'll save it in your drafts :o)

ANYWAY,
you have to seriously lighten up you emo pooooooot.
I don't even understand the big fonts up there staring back right at my blur face
' so now im branded for taking the fall*'
---

UH EXCU-SE MOI, that's like freaking deep. Cheemology mannnn :/
Nothing wrong but it's hella difficult for people like me who don't read between the lines.
Tsk well but then if you become all happy and cheery, that will be so wrong,
like me becoming all emoooooooooo.

Eeyur no way,
firstly my vocab is damn limited so i can't to type out all those bombastic english emo stuff.
secondly i'll just go mental from not laughing and laughing
thirdly AIYA SO NOT ME CAN.

But you're a weird kinda emo, like i dunno.
You're just a sotong-queen-crazy-one-of-a-kind emo.
I know that helps alot right :)

Ah but thankyou for being the way you are, if not i'll miss out on a very special person with qualities imperfect but perfectly fine in their own way..

DANG I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT, DON'T GET PIG HEADED POKAY.

Hahahaha!

Loves,
like awmahgosh who else?! ;)

2006-07-29T22:39:00.000+08:00

why are we so afraid of getting hurt

lost all my mood to blog.
goodnight.

2006-07-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

and all the roads we have to walk are winding
and all the lights that lead us there are blinding.

there are many things that i'd like to say to you
but i dont know how

cos maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

baby, come cruise away with me.

trying to find the magic,

trying to write a classic,

dont you know,

dont you know?

why i cant breathe whenever i think about you.

would you believe me?

would you agree?

some people wait a lifetime,

some people search forever.

understand me,

wont you try?

when the world seems to shine,

like you've had too much wine,

thats amore

what a feeling in my soul

you have no idea how much i'd give for you

jamie's so lucky lah. sigh.

when i saw this picture i couldnt stop laughing

hahahahahaha.

zan looks normal, so does val.

jaz looks like a BIMBO with her arms lah! ahaha.

my face looks funnaye.

tofu looks SPASSSTICO. as usual haha.

but ah, its nice (:

god, see this is why i cant be alone at home.

i dont studddddyyyy neh!

the time now is 11.30 and there's dance in sch tmr at 8.

joy to the world.

2006-07-28T18:20:00.000+08:00

perfectly imperfect

today today!

got back our chem paper.
yaya got like a 29???!??!!??!
when she was supposedly damn busy with her drama rehearsals and everything??!
WALAUEH.
and ms ho was in a good mood again (:

mrs ngin didnt come for bio.
spent eons in the toilet.
tofu was like washing her hair, haha mad woman.
and val was using her facial foam to wash up.
wahh like as if their house like that.
then me and val started practising our standing broad jump outside the classroom.
and inside the 3/7 toilet area.
haha and she started cursing and swearing when i tried pushing her down for sit&reach.
TSK TSK TSK!
no pain, NO GAIN. remember?!
then we started talking about stuffs..
VALENCIA ANNE LIM YOU'RE DAMN BLOODY LUCKY.
sweetness (:

then had PI.
wahh i was dying okay.
IT WAS SO BLOODY HOT, and knowing me (heh)
i cant sit on the damn chair for long cos i'll get restless!
and i was sitting in the middle of two fatties.
HAHAHA okay kidding d:
jannah was on my left, she had sooo manny comments about everything lah!
tsk tsk jannah jannah *shakes head*
val was on my right, whacking me like i was some kinda boxing board.
and every single sentence she said had the ___ word coming out of her mouth.
VAL WHERE ARE YOUR PRIORITIES.
then suddenly nadia asked me
nadia: nat ah, can i ask you something?
nat: ya what?
nadia: how come all dancers are like that ( shows sitting position with straight back and boobs sticking out) ah?
nat: HUH WHERE GOT! IM NOT LOR!
nadia: ohh. haha okay nvm sorry. but you all got nice body lah.
nat: hahaha ya but im the exception.
jannah: no what!
nat: yes.
jannah: noo! you are like ... (tries to find the word) berisi! very cute!
nat: JANNAH DID YOU JUST SAY IM BERISI?!

jannah, you broke my heart.

then after school dancers headed to parkway for lunch and to discuss sec4 farewell.
but before that, we had to wait for OH SO NICE VALENCIA.
WHO OH SO NICELY BROUGHT DOWN MY JACKET FOR ME
THAT I LEFT IN CLASS.
hahahaha.
ate at banquet. saw syikin shakiNEH ameera and nadirah there (:
daph told us that
at the end of the year, both the pure and elect geog classes will be going to australia!
OOHLALA (:
thats like practically all the classes except 3/5?
haha we can have a level gathering at the hotel man!
SO COOOOOOOOL.
then me and zan went to the other table to tell bel steph jana and serene.
THEY WENT MAD I TELL YOU!
haha so cute.

discussed our farewell at some ice cream place.
then headed home.

VALENCIA ANNE LIM PEISHI is a
NICE,
SWEET,
ADORABLE,
FUNNAYE,
SMELLY (hahahhaha)
TALL,
SKINNY,
ANGELIC,
SPORTY,
CLEVER,
WONDERFUL girl :D (ha!)

aye jaz i hope you're okay :/
take care kay.
<3 lovelove

because in times like these
you cannot help but wonder

and im following a recipe for disaster;

2006-07-27T16:30:00.000+08:00

WEDNESDAY.
missed abit of lit and we took our class photo!!
haha when the cameraman was like,
'okay girls please line up according to your height'
me and val walked past our classmates and shouted
'K TALL ONES PLEASE FOLLOW US'
hahahahahhahaha.
ahem cos we're like you know ahem tall and stuff.
HAHA.
i stood in the middle row again, GAH.
for the past two years, i've been standing in the same row.
when am i ever gonna move up man lol.
oh well (:
tofu was so sad cos she had to sit in the first row. haha but i think its cute!
and for our informal shot,
we did a sorta SCHOOL OF ROCK picture.
just without the guitars and drums, cos we totally forgot to bring the dustpan&brooms down.
haha but it was really weird.
cos 3/5 was down there looking at us, patiently waiting for their turn.

after school took our dance club photo.
then went for the geog trip.
haha i thought it was really fun!
well ya, cos i like the sand and sea and everything d:
me jaz and val decided to work together.
so while walking to the rocks area,
suddenly chelsea shouted
'EH WE FOUND A GROYNE IN SINGAPORE!'
and we were like whaat whereee?!
for a moment, i thought it was really like a youknow GROYNE.
like the one we learn in GEOGRAPHAYE.
but apparently, they werent referring to that.
HAHAHA.
we saw this guy suntanning in white underwear and his ____ was damn big!
i mean like seriously!
haha tabi and jaz took a pic of it.
i'll try to post when i get it. hahahaahha.

yeah ANYWAY,
me jaz and val started digging a hole in the ground for the i dont-know-what thing
using gloves ( we're not bimbos okay)
hahaha.
and we were digging and digging and digging
god my legs were aching lah!
zahidah said i remind her of a surgeon with my gloves
why thank you! (:
haha.
but tano said it was the retarded way of digging.
lol whateverrr jas.

once we were done, we headed to 7 eleven to get drinks.
WOAH IT FELT LIKE HEAVEN I TELL YOU.
and thennnn!
me jaz tofu and val started camwhoring by the beach.
poor andrea became our camerawoman haha.
but it was funnnnnn!
then zan joined us and we all started going mad.
hahaha :D

headed back to school.
then eunice ho went high.
she says its the coke, but i think its just her.
haha (:
then me eunice and zan dumped our bags at the studio and headed to pp for dinner.
talked about alot of.. stuffs.
we had alot of free time man.
and i had to wait outside the toilet for the two of them who were happily shitting away!
haha nehnehs.
went to get flowers and chocs.
then went back to school,
managed to catch the fringe performance by drama elect.
YAN AND NAT, YOU GUYS WERE GREAT!
WELL DONEEEE (:
at first i couldnt get the story, cos
yeah okay maybe im slow lah. but haha i was confused for abit.
but i sorta understood nat's part,
haha.
me and zan couldnt spot yan and we were like ehhhhhh
and we didnt realise that the girl lying on the floor was her!
then suddenly she got up with like BLOOD ON HER FACE
and started doing some head boombaba thing.
IT FREAKED ME OUT MAN.
haha but it was a good job!
the drama performance was goood too (:
YAYA YOU ROCK MY SOCKS, GANGSTAAAA!
haha alot of the stuffs she said was impromptu,
STEADY MAN :D

THURSDAY.
almost died cos we had two math and science periods.
and there's malay oral next week!
KANASAIIIIII.

went for spore idol with dian syikin zahidah rai and khai.
originally, me syikin dian and zahidah's seats were up in the balcony.
and you should have seen syikin's face.
she looked like she was gonna cry!!
cos yeah, she wouldnt be able to touch hady and everything.
while rai and khai got unumbered seats.
which means they would be able to go to the mosh pit area.
WHICH IS WHERE WEE WANTED TO BE!
then we were able to move down and..
WE GOT TO STAND AT THE MOSH PIT AREA!
haha illegally d:
emilee got out, not that suprising actually.
and she hugged hady after that for so freaking long okay what the hell!
im so jealous ah!
KJHESGKJVCXQP3R7385ITYREUODS!
okay whatever.
jonathan was nice (:
and rahimah was so cute! haha.

okay shall continue blogging in another post.
this one's long enough!

2006-07-25T18:47:00.000+08:00

GAH IM SO TIRED.
school today was fineeeeee.
the geog ca wasnt thaaatttt bad lah.
but i only had like 10 mins to finish the last two questions which were like 6 marks each?!
yeah so it was kinda *%@!)$*@#)%*$^#
but neverthemind :D

ms ho was in a good mood today!
really weird, but i think i prefer her like that.
and without her frowns, she actually looks better! haha.
honestly lah.
then we did some funny 3D dimension thing for math.
thank god mdm lenny didnt look at my name tag.
although she did confiscate my earring.
EH IT WAS REAL GOLD OKAY.
walau. break my heart only.
and she started telling us stories about how her dad's cat ran away and everything.
haha so cute.

OH YEAH!
shall blog about what happened yesterday.
cos farhana came to tell my class people during recess
that MALAY ORAL was after school.
and we started panicking like SHIT.
okay maybe only me and yaya lah.
cos like my malay, sucks.
and yaya, APPARENTLY says she sucks.
haha but whateverrrrr woman!
ya anyway,
then during lit i kept practising my malay in class
with nadia, as in conversation- wise and everything.
we were talking in bahasa baku.
nadia kept slanging her words, haha damn funny!
and jannah kept laughing at meeeeeeeeeeeee.
haha NEHNEH!
yaya was reading the berita harian out loud - practising bacaan. HAHA.
but in the end..
WE FOUND OUT WE HAD NO MALAY ORAL!
kns.
waste my time only, haha but nevermind.
i should practise my bahasa ibunda more :D

stayed back for shake after school yesterday.
since we had sooo much of time,
we headed to 7 eleven before that.
there was no more Mr Softee for me!
but k nvm.
me nat bel and daph stood up eating maggi mee.
haha damn gay okay.
but it was really empty. nice lah (:
then headed back to school.
haha me and zan started talking in the NIGGA LOVER lango.
HILARIOUS I TELL YOU.
wahahaha.
'whatcha gon do bout yer nigga lover'

IM GONNA SAY AND THEN SAY NO MORE :D

because i accept, even though i do not understand-

because i act, although i do not know

because i want, although i do not need

because i stop, even though i want to move

because im afraid, but i might still dare

because i ask, though i do not expect an answer

because i appreciate, but do not expect.

what if the world were a little more perfect.

2006-07-23T22:13:00.000+08:00

it takes a road to go nowhere

so why do you matter;

had to make some changes to my post.

today was an okayish day.
met up with the dancers to do CIP in the morning at 8am.
which means i had to get up at 6.30 am
ON A SUNDAY MORNING.
haha but for the community, i shall! hahaha okay whatever to me.
we only spent like 45 mins screaming and shouting our lungs out for the marathon runners
to give them motivation to the end
and..
WE GOT 5 HRS OF CIP! just like that!
cool right, hahaha. at least the job wasnt too tough or anything.
then headed to tiong bahru plaza to study with zan daph jamie and fann
before going home.

went for ballet.
there were having BUTS ( ballet under the stars) rehearsal downstairs
so i could see everything :D
the victoria ip students were also putting up a hip hop item,
DAMN BLOODY COOL LAH.
but too bad i couldnt get to see the real thing ):
ah well.
class was fine (:
better, because i stood facing the mirror. nyaha.
then met audrey ning and yirui.
went to collect my stuff from shawn&g.
before heading to go study at bugis..
and then i fell off my chair.
bloody embarrassing okay, i just covered my face and started laughing like a mad cow.
and those three idiots also happy happy laugh at me lah.
HMPH.
then headed home.

gah my eye's swollen mwollen ):

waiting for you to realise how much im feeling
is like waiting for diamond to turn into carbon ( haha ms ho's gonna be so proud )

maybe in our next lifetime.

2006-07-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

and everytime i think of you,
i cant help but..

tear.
tear.
tear.

make a living
make a love
vulture or dove
for now there is a choice to make
a promise to keep or a promise to break

this is the place for summer bliss
where lovers steal a secret kiss

like winter nights need fire

like temples need a shrine

like lovers need desire

like prophets need a sign

i need him,

can't he see?

i need him

to be mine.

falling in love is just like that

falling

out of control

of your heart and soul

why love when love hurts?

why love when love ends?

i know how it feels

when it turns and pretends

it ends with the pain

and the making amends

why love when there's peace

in the making of friends?

why?

then feel the shape

and trust your hand

for lines are dreams, they cant be planned

dont try too hard

or think too much

just trace the line and trust that gentle touch

can i,

trust you?

the fire that burns within your heart
the pain that tears your life apart
the rain that falls from broken skies
the love i lost beneath the lies
and must i face the trusth alone?
is this the end of all i've known?
the years i gave, the tears i cried
why dream of love,
when love has died?

from the musical Forbidden City : Portrait of an Empress

thank you.

if i had one wish.

2006-07-22T21:51:00.000+08:00

okay i shall reply tags.
although some are kinda old. heh

quraishaa: haha you got butt lah! aye anyway, im so sad that gayle went out ):
jastine: you're blur lah! YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS ME K. haha.
anarez: haha HEY SERENEEEE *mrs loy's voice*
audy: ya lah you DING somemore!
dana: dont come and NIA me okay. and im not a cockroach. AND YA WHY DID GAYLE HAVE TO GO???!
steph: hey girl! (:
Heather: yes i know smiles make the whole go around. WHY NEVER COME FOR CLASS TODAY AH.
valencia: hey anneee. i know where are my priorities you chicken backside!
elyy: i love ms elyana zannudin too (: haha im okay lah!
sakina: hey girl who-always-looks-at-me-from-the-corner-of-the-class :D
eunice: HEY (:
gnat: all cheered up thanks (:
jamie: whatcha gon do about yo nigga lover? HAH.
anonymous: haha oh thanksss (:
limin: YES I AM! you know everytime i see you, i see HSM written all over your face. HAHA its not a bad thing okay. more of like a reminder ahha (:
iis nat: LURVE YOU TOO! sending in prog.
daph: yalah im so sad. BOO. haha YES I LOVE THE PIC TOO. and the rest! :D

2006-07-21T17:28:00.000+08:00

the first time in a long time.

im gonna be a nerd and study for geog like maaaaaad!
STARTING TONIGHT.
anyone wanna study with meee this weekend? :D

i am so definitely going to watch this show.
watched the trailer, its damn sad ):

ah okay im just random blogging.
till then!

2006-07-20T21:10:00.000+08:00

OH GOSH WHY DID GAYLE HAVE TO GO?!
WHY WHY WHY?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FJOHGAULHHJnz:oiaYREOQWFZLUEJGFLUIKguhasfguajNZmx!

2006-07-20T18:48:00.000+08:00

and it takes a road to go nowhere.

i'd like to know where the riverboat sails tonight.

Count the headlights on the highway-

go easy on my conscience

he said everything wordlessly

and there's no cure and no way to be sure;

come and kiss me in

the midnight street

sweep me off my feet

they say that when a dragon dies, it becomes a comet

streaking across wishes.

i want a boy who will slay the dragon and name the comet after me.

i want him to cut class and steal me away to go cycling.

i want a boy who can flip pancakes.

i want a boy whose smile is like a knotted light but doesnt give away his smile for free.

i want him to strum goofy love songs on his guitar.

i want a boy who doesnt mind silences in conversations.

i want him to dare to fail.

i want him to surprise me.

i want a boy who doesnt use branded moisturiser, or funny cream.

i want him to laugh at my lame jokes.

i want a boy

who doesnt exist.

that way, i'll never fall in love.

DANCE CLUB PERFORMANCE AT THE FOYER TOMORROW AT 10. 40 am.

COME DOWN, BABBBYY! (:

YAY JIA MIN ROCKS MY SOCKS! :D

2006-07-18T20:18:00.000+08:00

the chem ca SO BLOODY SUCKED today.
i had a bad badd feeling that it was gonna be a tough paper,
and especially when tofu said that ms chan told 3/4 that
if at least 5 people were to pass in the class, she'd be happy enough.
mad.

i didnt even know how to answer the first question!!!!!
what oxide hydroxide AH.
yeah so basically i think im prepared to fail it.
shittttttttttoooooooooo.

then after school,
had to see ms foo.
gosh, im so disappointed right now ):
sigh nevermind.
all our hard work and effort just went..
boom.

then something stupid happened.
we headed to the voideck to put our bags.
so i was digging out my wallet and everything,
and when i stood up..
PIIIIAAAAAAANNNNGGGG!
(and my head hits the fire extinguisher directly above me)
i didnt even know whether to cry cos it was pain,
or laugh at the stupidity of it
but i was damn malu!
haha DAMN THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER
and my blurness.
haha.

we just sat down to talk and talk afterward.
cos none of us had the mood to dance anymore s:
sigh.

answers.
we spend our entire time searching for them.

although sometimes,
answers dont mean anything.
sometimes, i dont want answers.
sometimes, i dont want things to change.
sometimes, i just like being selfish.

but how?
do we find these answers.

they irk like the noise of construction work.
you cant stop it.

all i've been doing,
is blocking it out with
the sound of music.
with the sound of music that does nothing but remind
me of you.

and kelly clarkson sings,
well if you dont have the answer,
why are you still standing here?
hey hey hey hey,
just walk away.

i cant.
you know.
just walk away.

or merely
standing motionlessly.
waiting for you,
looking at you,
thinking of you,
not thinking about you,
avoiding you,
wanting to talk to you.

take a risk,
take a chance,
make a change.
what risk? what chance? what change?

bio spa tomorrow.
wish me luck! (:

2006-07-16T22:04:00.000+08:00

i had this hilarious convo with val and eunice todaye.

val: eh you got another pen or not ah?
nat: ya got. use the KONEKINIYA one.
val: what konekiniya? ITS KINOKUNIYA LAH!
eunice: hahaha dare call yourself indian somemore.
val: eunice, its jap.

HAHAHAHA I ALMOST ROLLED OFF THE CHAIR AND DIED.

i think there's something really cool about this picture (:

words dont even come close.

2006-07-15T23:30:00.000+08:00

maybe forgiveness is right where you fell;

woo.
was gonna blog about the singapore idol results show.
but since everyone's already blogged about it,
and being the slow one that i am
i wont haha.
basically, ALL OF THEM WERE SO CLOSE TO ME I COULD'VE JUST GRABBED THEM BY THEIR LEGS AND NEVER LET GO.
or best still, just get up on stage and start going mad.
haha.
but i really enjoyed myself (: no regrets!

yesterday night, went for the SCGS dance concert.
i felt like i was watching some professional dance troupe or something.
THEY WERE AWESOMELY FANTASTIC!
im telling you. i just sat there, mouth wide open.
even the primary ones could do like back flips, centre splits WOAHHH.
some even better than me okay!
fab concert.

both performances are next week
*bangs head against the wall*
and so is the freaking chem test.
MOLE CONCEPT PLEASE GO AWAY THANK YOU.
and so is my english oral.
MS FOO'S MY ORAL TEACHER!
ahhhhhh what the ):
lets hope she's nicer than how she is during dance. haha.
and so is the bio spa.
which i dont think im gonna do very well for.
and there'll be intense dance practices next week in preparation for the performances.
ah please let me just get through with the week in one piece.

went out with my mum today to town.
we spent our whole time in raffles city.
the place is really nice now, after renovating the basement and everything.
there's billabong, nike, adidas, BEN&JERRY'S, and alot of new cool shops!
my mum finally bought ben&jerry's today.
FINALLY COS SHE KEEPS SAYING ITS FATTENING.
duh ma, its ice cream?
haha and i know she enjoyed it.
she even finished mine for me!
haha thank me for introducing it to her (;
woo.

im excited!
cos im starting my religious classes tmr.
but the one bad thing about it is that its in the morning.
man, must get up early on a sunday ):
okay nvm. im still excited!
oohlala lets hope its fun (:

im so screwed for chem, i swear.
and this time i dont blame it on ho.
its me.

do you know how the more you know a person, the more you feel like you dont know the person?
do you know how the more you know a person, the more you feel you dont like the person?
do you know how the more you know a person, the less attractive he/she is?

but at the same time,
do you know how the more you know a person, the more you want to figure him/her out?
do you know how the more you know a person, the more unpredictable he/she gets?
do you know how the more you know a person, the more you want to know more?

i know.

when you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, nothing is going right
close your eyes and think of me
and soon i will be there
to brighten up even your darkest night
you just call out my name
and you know wherever i am
i'll come running to see you again
winter, spring, summer or fall
all you have to do is call
and i'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah
you've got a friend (:

but no matter how i try;

2006-07-12T19:59:00.000+08:00

i pretend not to see
then i change my mind, turn around
but you're gone.

this week's been pretty alright (:
my group presented our english dramatisation yesterday.
i so screwed it up lah haha. i forgot my lines!
but thank god i just came up with something on the spot.
hopefully that managed to cover up everything.
and tofu kept laughing throughout the thing!
she was really born a spastic kid.

i know you know
from the way you turn away
half-turns, almost goodbyes

ss ca was okaayish lah.
i finished the paper for the first time!
but i dont even know whether my points were correct or not
so hahaha whatever.

oh yeah!
i brought my rubber cockroach to school yesterday
cos me and val actually wanted to scare sakina heh.
but in the end,
the whole class decided to scare mdm lenny instead.
WOAH DAMN SCARY LAH.
when she saw it, she didnt scream or anything
cos we already told her a suprise would be awaiting her
and partly cos she told us that she's not afraid of roachies.
then she asked us
'the person who is reponsible for this act please stand up'
and guess what?
THE WHOLE CLASS STOOD UP!
hahahahahahahaha.
wah we really wanna die together man.
but she still wasnt satisfied,
so she placed the roachie on this paper fan and started walking around the class with it,
asking who was the guilty one who went to put it on the teachers table.
and im so bloody unlucky to be sitting at the last row.
SO BLOODY UNLUCKY I TELL YOU.
furthermore, i was sitting with val.
so she happily walked around the class asking
'you better admit to me who was the one NOW'
threatening them with the cockroach SO CLOSE TO THEIR FACES.
and everyone just said
'i dont know! i dont know!'
then..
she walked to me and val's area.
and we also said we didnt know, like duh.
she just shook her head and took val's wallet from her table!
and val was like 'err?'
then she walked to my table
and took my purple pouch! (which had my phone inside btw)
she also took hye rim's wallet
and yaya's hairband.
and it was all because no one wanted to admit anything.
like WHAT THEE!

so me and val, being the kind souls that we are (hahahha)
decided to go and tell mdm lenny that it was us who placed the roachie on her table
ALTHOUGH IT WASNT US LAH BUT WHAT THE HELL.
and we saved the day! :D
well, sort of.
HAHA.

if someone said three years from now
you'd be long gone,
i'd stand up and punch them out
cos they're all wrong
i know better
cos you said forever
and ever.

today started off kinda wet.
i was like practically falling asleep during the first few periods/:
and thank god amath after school wasnt that bad.
me zan and val joined tables
and they started their lame-ness.
tsk tsk!
haha and we kept okay-ing everytime after shakiloy said something
she kept talking to herself!
haha so scary.
but funny lah lol.

after school headed to parkway with zan jamie val.
but we parted from there
me and val headed to pastamania.
walau THE FREAKKK!
i wanted to take the strawberry smoothie and throw it at his face.
kanasai.
then we popped by kfc to say bye to the two nehnehs,
before heading to borders.
we were acting like bitches the whole damn way
hahahaha val was laughing so hard her pee almost came out!
well, according to her lah haha.

we reached orchard.
got famous amos!
walked around for abit,
finally found that letter pad set.
but i couldnt find the right thang' s:
sigh okay nvm i'll find it!
patience.
then cabbed home.

singapore idol just ended a while ago.
i think jonathan's voice is really.. nice (:
i dont really know what to say about the rest.
but i dont like matilda.

there's mole test next week.
oh crap.

when the stars go blue.

2006-07-08T21:25:00.000+08:00

today's the day.
i told my mum that i wanna follow her way of life.
i guess religion is important after all.
and even if i had to make a few changes here and there,
so be it.
man, i'll have ALOT to learn. haha.
but this is what i want, so im gonna do it (:
and my mum was so proud of me!
well, she didnt say it directly lah cos she never does.
but i know she meant it that way (:

val's such a dweeb.
HAHAHAHAHA.

valencia! - tkgsailing <3 says:
so we can start a bit first?
valencia! - tkgsailing <3 says:
ok so 2 at our place huh?
valencia! - tkgsailing <3 says:
i mean, YOU PLACE
valencia! - tkgsailing <3 says:
haha i mean YOUR PLACE
what hurts the most* says:
haha our place huh
what hurts the most* says:
*wink wink
what hurts the most* says:
okay (:
valencia! - tkgsailing <3 says:
...tonight? HAHAHAHAHHA
what hurts the most* says:
HAHAHAHAHA
what hurts the most* says:
i'll be.. waiting
what hurts the most* says:
HAHAHAHA
what hurts the most* says:
YUCK!

ahahahahaha.
anyway,
my nehneh's captain now!
im so happy for her (:

social studies is ruining my life.

2006-07-08T14:33:00.000+08:00

1. Would you marry for money?
nah.

2. Have you had braces?
nope (:

3. Could you live without a computer?
yeah. maybe no.

4. If you could live in any past time period, where would it be?
paris!

5. Do you drink enough water?
i think so?

6. Do you wear shoes in the house or take 'em off?
i take them off.

7. What are your favorite fruits?
grapes, apples, strawberries (:

8. What is your favorite place to visit?
everywhere.

9. Are you photogenic?
i have no idea.

10. Do you dream in color or black and white?
colour.

11. Why did you take this survey?
cos im taking a break off democracy and communism (ss)

12. Do you drink?
nah.

13. What is the most beautiful language?
french. oohlala (:

14. Do you like being kissed when you are asleep?
erm technically i wont know cos im sleeping?

15. WHAT do you like MOST: Sunrise or sunset?
sunset (:

16. Do you want to live until you're 100 yrs old?
yeah!

17. Is a flat stomach important to you?
its not say important lah.

19. When you watch movies at home, do you likethe lights on or off?
off please.

20. Do you believe in magic?
it depends.

22. Do you like to watch cartoons?
sometimes :D

23. At what age did you find out that Santa Clause wasn't real?
seven i think.

24. Do you write poems?
yeah.

25. Do you snore?
i wonder haha.

26. You sleep more on your back, front,or sides?
all hahaha.

27. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
poodle.

28. Are you basically a happy person?
haha hmm.

29. Are you tired?
very.

30. Do you drink anything with caffeine?
occassionally.

32. How many landline/cellphones do you have inyour house?
as in phones ah? five i think. plus my own line.

33. Do you get along with your parents?
yup.

34. Do u smoke?
crazy.

35. Do you have a cat?
nah.

36. Have you ever had a birthday party?
yeah!

37. What do you do when you're sad?
eat ice cream or chocs, lie on my bed and cry, call a friend

38. What is the one thing you want right now?
dana knows (: and no, its not a person.

39. What song are you listening to now?
jars of clay - i want to fall in love with you

40. What are you capable of?
much better.

2006-07-08T10:13:00.000+08:00

just because.

yesterday during mt, we had a new relief teacher to take over mr zaini while he was away on mc.
so we had to do abit of self intro.
and this is what yaya said.
'nama saya syazana dan saya cantik'
(translated)
'my name's syazana and im pretty'

HAHA WHAT THEEEE.

me and zan tried to compile the songs together after school.
just when we were so happy, thinking that everything was a-okay,
THE BLOODY CD COULDNT BE PLAYED ON THE RADIO!
ahhhhhhhhh so nehneh.
all our time spent was wasted just like that.
but dance was alright.

i cant believe im up so early on a saturday morning.
haha oh well.
hope the day gets better!

okay, gotta get back to ss (:

2006-07-07T18:58:00.000+08:00

jengjengjengjeng jengjengjengjeng jengjengjengjeng jeng ah!

night (:

2006-07-06T16:40:00.000+08:00

we're on the edge of falling_

the past few days have been really tiring
and today was dikir barat dayy!
haha i didnt screw up as badly as last week.
but i could feel my whole lower lip shaking and shaking
LOL NERVOUS LAH.
oh yes, and we got our dance jackets today too!
haha you could literally see so many blue/white things walking around school.

went to collect the jackets with zan&jamie after school yesterday.
the place where we had to collect the jackets had this funny pole
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIFT!
haha so weird.
after collecting the jackets,
jamie started jumping around like a mad monkey in the lift.
i swear, she's mad.
headed to downtown east for lunch.
'moi moi' hahahahaha ZANETA TAN!
then jamie went home,
zan came over and we started planning for sec4 farewell.
ooh i think our idea's not bad (:
and the stupid tooong. HAHA.
well, i just hope the other people like it!

the sky was so dark this morning
oohlala (:
so yeah, it rained.
and we got to use our jackets!
we did funny flexibility exercises during pe.
and had to run like i-dont-know-how-many rounds around the circular block.
mother tongue.. heh okay nvm d:
after school,
cabbed to downtown with jamie.
WE SPENT A WHOLE HOUR EATING.
haha so pig right
but we had ben&jerry's!
IT WAS YUM YUM! :D
and the guy who works there is really friendly!
yeah nice nice.

knowing you could have it all,
and then have the Person come
and immediately tell you
it could never work out;
and it ends.

or

not knowing if it would ever work out,
but then have the Person come
and go; and come, and go;
playing snake and ladders.
you never really know, do you?

its like a game.
playing hard to get is cheap tactics.

which is worse?

after all,
we live for anticipation.

was listening to jaz's nano today during geog.
and i came across a song
that i used to sing almost all the time in sec2
with pris and gang.
ah so nice (:
'guess im wishing my life away,
with these things i'll never say..'

you know,
i actually thought we'd try.
but it really doesnt look that way.
sigh.

i found out today that alot of my posts are misinterpreted.
oh no! *clutches head dramatically*

random thought : zahidah reminds me of cookie monster.
HAHAHAHAHA.
yeah that was random
but she really does!
so cute (:

WOOLALA*

2006-07-03T21:45:00.000+08:00

the weather wasnt so good this morning.
but at about 10++, THE SUN CAME OUT AGAIN!!
so me and eunice made our way to sentosa (:

oohlala (:

it was an awfully hot BUT windy day!

SUPPPERRRR big gulp!

we almost wanted to buy another one. haha d:

dao lah huh.

haha retardeee (:

can you believe my forest fruits melted?!

SUN, ALL YOUR FAULT!

yay (:

in the cab back home. check out the flower on eunice's hair. nice aye (:

failed rockstars? hahaha.

just some other pics (:

i'll blog more about today another time,
and maybe put the other pictures.
but to sum it all up,
WE HAD FUN FUN FUN :D

okay gotta go ready for school now.
ugh.

sigh the more i think about brazil
the sadder i am

sigh.
im in a sighy mood now.
sigh sigh sigh sigh.

cant you see that im trying to find you?

2006-07-02T18:49:00.000+08:00

tagggs (:

audrey: haha no green's still gayer my friend d: and yes, vulgar we are!
limin: alright! haha can i pass it to you by like end of this week? and its okay lah. you dont have to be nice and buy me chocs HAHAHA.
valencia: get whatever dirty stuffs there is outta your mind val! WHERE ARE YOUR PRIORITIES.
eunice: were you trying to rhyme the thing? HAHAHA LOUSY LAH. yay i cant wait for graphs on the sand day!!!! ((:
debs: i sayang you too (: your influence one! haha.
zan: purposely dont want to look at me?! I SLAP YOUR NEHNEHS AH. hahaha. noo ginny didnt come! im so sad okay ): haha. ugh, you know what. you should have just taken yolanda's phone and throw it down the two storeys. wasnt it disturbing your class like that?! and you know cos she's injured, she happy happy just come and plonk herself beside ms ong to watch class. WITH THAT EEEVIILLL SMUG LOOK ON THE FACE. walau i wanted to slap her today. oh oh christina asked me how's tk dance now. i was so malu to answer her can /:

ENGLAND VS PORTUGAL
0-0
(1 - 3 after penalties)
what theeeee.
england could have won it you know.
but i guess after all the rooney shit
and when beckham got sent off for his injury,
their hopes sorta dampened?
i mean since he's their captain and everything.
though i dont see whats so good about the way he plays.
england kept passing the bloody ball to crouch!
ah the damn giant guy.
oh yeah and by the way,
i hate cristiano.
he's super big headed lah.
anyone out there who thinks that he's a hunk,
dont talk to me.
and the referee's DAMN BLINNNND!
hand ball also cannot see.

BRAZIL VS FRANCE
0 - 1
disappointing game.
thats all i have to say.

i've come down to a conclusion
that england and brazil are both too star-struck
which is partly why they lost.
tsk.

oh class was great today!
we had an open combined class.
haha the barre was like totally full man.
but it was good :D :D
and something hysterical happened again during grande allegro,
while doing a grande jete
xin hui's front ballet shoe flew out of the studio
hahahahaha.
i couldnt stop laughing okay.
this is the second time something like this happened.
haha.

i just realised how soothing daphne khoo's songs are.
you know those lullaby kind that can make you fall asleep
yeah, her voice's damn sweet (:

empty frames
pictures torn apart
no goodnight kisses anymore (ohhh)
and goodbye sweetie, now i have to go
remember me.

there is a better place that awaits me
i'll see you there
you've got the whole world
ahead of you (ahead of you)

im sorry
i didnt say goodbye
im sorry that i made you cry
and i'd make it up to you
if i had the, if i had the chance to (ohh..)

what're we suppose to do when everything goes wrong
is it possible to change our destiny.
what're we suppose to do when everything right goes wrong
its impossible to change our destiny
to change our destiny (ohhh..)

there's a better place that awaits me
i'll see you there
you've got the whole world ahead of you (ahead of you)
nah nah nah nah nah nah.

shit im running out of graph paper!!

2006-07-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

CHRISTINA GINNY LIZ yolanda HUI XIN GRACE
and i cant remember who else
ARE BACK!!!!!

when i walked into the toilet and saw christina,
i was like so damn shocked!
ahh she's still so small and cute (:
then i walked towards the studio
and saw some woman in a red top and extremely short shorts
it didnt take me long to realise who it was.
ugh yolanda.
she's back from hell.
everyone please beware.
ginny didnt come todaye lah ):
saddening.
hahaha d:
after class,
i stayed on to watch the other majors dance.

christina is honestly a joy just to watch.
the perfection in her steps is just amazing.
and there's this girl, amelia, who's joining some of them
for their trip to macau next week
she is like.. power.
i was just glued watching her okay.
awesome stuff (:

left to meet audrey.
we both decided not to go for class since we'll be attending the workshop
so we went to tm!
i tell you.
that girl has no sympathy for me!
hahaha.
cos i was already complaining to her that
my inside thighs were aching. and my stomach
i think its from the master class the other day
but i cant understand why im only feeling the pain NOW.
weird s:
anyway, we were waiting for the lift up.
then it was taking so long so she was like
'eh lets climb the stairs lah'
and i gave her the most pitiful look ever
BUT SHE CHOSE TO IGNORE IT AND MADE ME CLIMB BLOODY THREE STOREYS UP.
my legs were shaking okay ):
and i almost wanted to get down on my knees and start crawling.
haha.
i was like shouting and moaning and groaning the whole way up.

even one of the escalators at century square was spoilt!
SO CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE HOW MUCH I SUFFERED.
haha.

then we headed to pasir ris park/beach.
went for a SLOW run.
slow because, well i was still slightly aching.
it felt nice (:
we were singing and humming all the groovaye songs along the way.
haha retarded i know.
then went to relac abit by the beach.
we sat and talked and sat and talked there
till it got kinda dark
and we decided to head home.
cheer up okay drey
remember that things always happen for a reason.
and that i'll be here for you 24/7 (:
dont worry alright.
smileee pretty face (:

and when you smile sometimes
its not because you're happy
but its because you miss really smiling

i love you
i have loved you all along
and i miss you
been far away for far too long
i keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
stop breathing if i dont see you anymore..

a little more than normal.

2006-07-01T14:34:00.000+08:00

read at your own risk.

green : audrey
orange : me

last chance for one last dance says:
i'm having a migraine

rather waste some time with you* says:
bagus. play loud loud music somemore lah.

rather waste some time with you* says:
haha kidding. take care k. i'll bring panadols for you later!!

last chance for one last dance says:
i bet your panadols are poisonous right

rather waste some time with you* says:
eh thanks ah. im going to buy them for you before i go for class can.

last chance for one last dance says:
ha ha i'm joking dear

last chance for one last dance says:
thanks ok (((:

last chance for one last dance says:
me love you THIS MUCH!

rather waste some time with you* says:
this much only? you suck.

last chance for one last dance says:
fuck you

rather waste some time with you* says:
GASPS*

rather waste some time with you* says:
bastard!

last chance for one last dance says:
you = slut

rather waste some time with you* says:
motherfucker.

last chance for one last dance says:
cheebye!

rather waste some time with you* says:
assholer fucka.

last chance for one last dance says:
bitch fucko

rather waste some time with you* says:
fuckeroo.

last chance for one last dance says:
tahi longkang

rather waste some time with you* says:
sial.

last chance for one last dance says:
screw spiders

rather waste some time with you* says:
fuckface.

last chance for one last dance says:
*grabs nat and severly bashes her head against the wall*

rather waste some time with you* says:
*knocks audrey's head with a hammer*

last chance for one last dance says:
OK THAT'S ENOUGH.

rather waste some time with you* says:
hahahahahahahahahaha.

rather waste some time with you* says:
aye i have to go already.

rather waste some with you* says:
see you later gundu!

last chance for one last dance says:
mwacks!

2006-07-01T11:47:00.000+08:00

pretty rough night last night.
germany won, YO!

not looking forward to the rest of the day thank you very much.
can i be sleeping beauty for a day please?
and wait for some prince charming to come rescue me.
ahaha (:

okay you know i can hear my phone vibrating constantly
BUT I CANT BLOODY FIND IT!
ahhhh what the cow ):
like my room so big like that.
tsk!

tution time
later (:

2006-06-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

and at the end you start thinking about the beginning.

it seems like everytime i want to tell you everything,
i cant bring myself to do it directly
because..
i think im afraid.
yeah, i am.
im afraid that things'll turn out badly after that.
and im really afraid of being afraid.

i know that
you might not probably give a damn about all this.
you might just stop reading from this point of time.
you might not bother
and just think of it as another chunk of bullshit words.
but you know something?
i do mean every single thing i say.
and i dont care about what you think
at least i'll know that i did try
although nothing might change after all of this
but its okay.

i know i made a mistake.
and you have no idea how much i regretted it.
it almost drove me crazy.
you might think im some fake ass shit head
yeah, i'll agree with you.
but i promised myself i'd change
so that i'll be a better person
and we could all be happier people.
and i did it for the main purpose and sake of our friendship
to build back whatever was left
to start anew
and yet.. when i see you,
it really feels like i dont know you anymore.
why

everytime i ask myself why this happens
why there's so much of pain everytime i look you in the eye
why whenever i see you, i suddenly run out of things to say
and i still come down to nothing.
if you're still mad at me and everything,
thats understandable.
but just come and tell me?

what did you really mean when you said
you'd really put the past behind us and forget everything that happened?

im trying everything in my power to make this friendship work again.
i dont know if you're doing the same
but i hope you are.
and if you're not,
i should probably just give up.
but you know what.. i dont want to.
and the only reason why this is so is because
i treasure you far too much.

maybe you dont care or treasure me
as much as i do to you
but just tell me,
do you want this friendship to work again?

maybe its been easy for you to just forget me
after all, who am i right?
but im sorry
i cant do that.
you came into my life and made such a huge impact in it
so just letting you walk outta my life like that
and pretending like you were never there,
im sorry
but its really been difficult for me.

i cant pretend
that i dont miss you - when i do
that i dont know you- when i do
that i dont care about you- when i do
that i dont feel the hurt everytime i see you- when i do
that i dont think about you- when i do
that you dont have a special place in my heart- when you do.

where does our friendship stand now?
and if im a problem in your life
please, just come and tell me.

i just want you to know that
i've always admired you
and the things you do.
there's really no other person like you
and thats something more than normal.

no matter what happens after this
i just want tell you that
if you need anyone,
i'll be here as always
even if i might not be as important as the rest.
stay happy alright.
sigh.

because i dont know you anymore
i dont recognise this place
the picture frames have changed and so has your name
we dont talk much anymore
we keep running from the pain
but what wouldnt i give to see your face again.

tell me,
will things go back to the way they were?

computer's wet.

2006-06-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

dont you know
that i can see
right through you

helloo (:
tags!

zan: hey babe! hahaha yeah we were SO HIGH fun HIGH :D oh, whats the problem? i cant rmb if you told me not. haha
elyy: im not cheem lah aiyo! haha. and why am i satay stick?! what happened to your phone dearie?
limin: do you want to borrow it? its dvd (: oooh chocs! haha.
eunice: haha yes schoool reopenED. yaa whats the corpse bride's problem!! and ms ang actually associated you with her HAHA. see you monnnddaaayyyy ((:
daph: hey girl! no problemo. yeah i know LAH you're so busy and everything. haha (:
jamie: DO NOT SQUEEZE ME PLEASE THANKS. haha today was good! (:
dana: love you too (:
yirui: haha called already. thanks for letting me know anyway!
valencia: BITCH. hahahaha :D
audy: wise lah wised haha POOT POOT POOT.

went out with the three nehnehs last sunday.
SCARY MOVIEEEEE (:
haha i shall not bother to elaborate on how we managed to get in.
but point is, we got in!
and once we entered the cinema all four of us started screaming like mad monkeys
hahahaha.
me eunice and val were sitting at the lido subway area,
waiting for some people and suddenly we saw her going up the escalator.
and she kept touching some part of her body the whole time! lol.

her hair.

her top.

her hair AGAIN.

haha what a nehneh.

val: more more more, i just cant get enough!

tofu: oh my gosh can you guys like stop hogging the cookies already?!

i look weird up there.

i think i was trying chew the cookie or sth HAHA d:

today after school.

we were choreographing for our contemp item.

i was sitting down at the voideck writing down the timings and everything

when suddenly my whole world blacked out for at least 5 secs.

and when i opened my eyes again,

i saw this softball bouncing in front of me.

i put my hand to my head and went

'oooouuuucccchhhhh'

and couldnt help but laugh at the stupidity of getting hit by a softball on the head.

then this sec2 softballer came up to me and she kept going sorry sorry sorry sorry.

and jamie and dana can still laugh at me lah! kns. haha.

its pain ): oh well.

ooh yeah we made alot of progress todaye!

im really glad :) (:

okay gtg do stuffs now (:

2006-06-29T18:36:00.000+08:00

we had to perform our dikir barat performance today
for the lower sec during assembly.
HAHAHA I SO SCREWED UP EVERYTHING THANK YOU.
it was so embarrassing! s:
and i could hear eunice laughing continuously behind me.
well, not like i wasnt laughing myself.
hahaha we really cant afford to go up on stage like that next week man.
and ms sim asked me during mep today if it was okay with us
to perform again during carnival day for some busking
why not (:

yesterday during amath,
i was bored. as usual.
so i started to write a note to nadia
though i know she sits very near me and everything.
hahaha.
nat: nadiaaa. im bored. can i tell you something?
nadia: oh yes yes! im sooo ready to hear.
nat: okay. but are you sure you want to know?
nadia: aiyoh. YES lah. unless its sth bad about me..
nat: YOUR BREATH STINKS! HAHAHAHAHA.
nadia: hahaha.i think so too leh. oops. what can i do rite? i dn have Listerine at home.
nat: hahahahaha! no lah i was KIDDING! actually i just wanted to tell you that..
I LOVE YOU (: [not in that way ah!]
nadia: haha fine lah. i know my breath stinks. haha you're loving a stinking-breath-nadia. how sweet.

and you know she took my words seriously.
oh my goodness.
she cant differentiate a joke from fact.
HAHA WORSE THAN MEE d:

but that girl makes me laugh every single day (:
maybe cos she's around me tooo much haha.
her english ah, is really thumbs up man.
like today,
she saw me making the hat thing during ss and she went
'woah so head the big ah..'
(woah so big the head ah)
hahahaha nadia you rock man.

ohhh yes!
the master classs :D
shall talk more about it.
the guy's a ballet master/dancer from the UK.
who's also ms chiam's ex-classmate.
they did ballet together. hahaha so cute.
so anyway yeah, he came down yesterday to give us a master class.
we were all damn excited to start class cos like
yeah, you know MASTERRRR class. haha.
dana germ and sandra joined us too.

after waiting like what seemed forever,
while warming-up by ourselves
he stepped into the studio with ms chiam.
and the first thing that came to my head was
'this is a ballet teacher/dancer?'
he really didnt look like one!
well, he certainly wasnt dressed like one!
haha.
he was carrying this big bagpack too.
another weird thing! lol.

okay so we started off with floorbarre.
it was my first time doing it,
cos yeah we dont practice it in sba
woah all the exercises were G.R.E.AT man.
strengthening all the inside thigh muscles!
and..
ABS :D
YEAAHH MAN I WAS SO HAPPPY.
all the abs exercises were really gooood!
i mean, yeah you had to really work for it lah.
i could feel my whole stomach area shaking while doing the exercises.
haha coolness.

then did barre.
he taught us alot of new things, like technique-wise and everything
which is really different from RAD
so im like kinda confused and everything.
okay nvmhoo.
it was still great (:
we didnt do centre. cos i think there wasnt enough time.
so he gave us a little pep-talk,
and helped us with some stuffs.
'ballet's not about shape, its about everything inside your body'
i'll remember that (:

ms ho was pms-ing today.
okay actually i dont know what was real happening but erm,
i came down with the conclusion that she really hates our class.
eunice wanted to go to the toilet
so she walked up to the front of the teacher's table
eunice: ms ho can i go to the toilet?
ms ho: (walks away from the teacher's table to the board completely ignoring her)
eunice: (mouth open) ????!?!?!?!?!?!??!
good golly me.

dinner calls (:

cookies and cream granola bars!

2006-06-29T07:02:00.000+08:00

nat's left eye is swollen todaye.
SWOLLEN, i tell you.
SWOLLEN.
S.W.O.L.. okay you get my point.

yesterday's master class was greaaat (:
i felt so knowleagable after that.
about ballet i mean. hahahaha.
and the guy who came down to coach us said sth
that made me feel.. better.
'you're only fat if i tell you that you are. okay?'

there's some elephant sitting on the teacher's table.
byeeeee (:

2006-06-28T06:58:00.000+08:00

wooolala.

its such a noisy wednesday morning in the 3/3 classroom.
haha

sooo lets see,
the first day of school didnt turn out so bad
i was really happy to see everyone again!! (:
but lesson-wise, no way. haha.
and there're already like three tests this week???!?!
wonderful, really.

there's ballet master class todaye.
i cant wait to see whats gonna happen hah.
and i've got this ginormous blue-black on my knee from dance
eeeee ):

okay gtg.
eunice hohohoho is here (:

2006-06-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

its about 4 mins to midnight.
so this might turn out as a sunday post
but nooo its a saturday one!

today was, fine.
i was late for ballet, that i already expected.
class was like.. i dont know
its kinda hard at this point in time to say how i feel cos
i think im kinda demoralised and everything.
okay i know my ballet's like not fantastic or anything.
so yeah, i think that sorta brings my whole confidence level down down down.
and furthermore the exams are just round the corner,
if i dont do well for advance found
i wont be surprised.
but hell yeah i'll be disappointed.
okay forget it.
the point is that i'll just have to keep working harder.

then went for salsa.
i was like looking all so glum and tired and everything from ballet.
then suddenly stupid jastine came BOO-ing me near the studio
and i almost screamed oh my god.
but that sorta started my whole laughing fiesca hahaha.
mrs lim was late.
so we were just fooling around in the studio.
and ahem nice me gave someone ahem his favourite ahem chocolate.
cos i felt bad not turning up for class previously and leaving him partnerless.
ahaha (:
then both audrey and I decided to exchange shoes.
so i had one side of hers and one side of mine.
SUPER WEIRD haha.
mrs lim used El Truco by Daddy Yankee today!
and we did the set so many times,
that im addicted to the song man (:
then!
the whole laughing high thing started.
haha im not gonna elaborate any further
cos its damn embarassing d:
imran and yirui were rolling all over the place laughing lah!
hahaha.

after class.
went to the esplanade with audrey.
haha you know, somehow
i never seem to get sick of the place (:
we wanted to have makansutra for dinnner
but it was tooo crowded s:
there were so many mats and minahs there!
seriously, the whole waterfront area was filled with them!
i was kinda scared lah.
so in the end, we settled for mrs fields cookies and
sat at some secluded place of the waterfront eating away.
and she said there was something different about me!
haha hmm i wonder what it is (:

then went over to her place.
we watched the repeat of spore idol there.
her sis was like cursing and swearing at every one of them
HAHA
anyway her sis looks super different from the last time i saw her!
but still pretty lah, as USUAL. haha.
oooh,
i heard there was some technical problem and
actually nurul was supposed to have gotten in instead of maltida?
i dont like maltida at all. she's so action nak mampos.
so YAY ((:

waited for audrey to bathe and everything.
(oh yeah babe, it was me who wrote that thing on your board lah. haha d: i was bored!)
then we headed to downtown east.
bought bubble tea (:
then went for a late night stroll at the beach.
but with audrey? how UNromantic!
hahaha okay JOKE.
sat down to talk and everything.
there were like stuffs biting us on the sand! /:
that is just gross.
surprisingly the beach was quite empty
although it was a saturday night and everything.
but its so calm and relaxing and just, amazing (:

what hurts the most - rascal flatts
what hurts the most
was being so close
and having so much to say,
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do.

tomorrow (:

2006-06-24T14:19:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder why people try so hard to be perfect.
when they cant.
when perfection lies in our imperfection itself.
i dont want to wake up one day when im old and wrinkled,
to look back at my life
and realise
that i have really, not achieved anything at all.
i dont know why people perpetually strive to be the best at everything
when they cant.
and even if they can, you cant be the best all the time.
there are bound to be times you fall.
and no matter how cliched this sounds,
you have to pick yourself up after a fall.
dont go obsessing about your mistake.
that you waste all your time, energy and your life
and you dont learn anything.
and i know we all have people in our lives that we envy.
they could be your older sibling, your best friend,
the schoolbelle, the school prefect or even your greatest enemy.
we always look at them and go
'she's so perfect. i want to be like her. '
when we cant.
when they really arent perfect anyway.
when they really are as ordinary as any of us.
when being the best is really so tiring.
when being the best cannot last forever.
and there simply isnt the best.

why do you spend all your life trying to be
someone else?
because of image?
because you want to look good?
because you want to meet others expectations of you?
why spend your life meeting others expectations
when the only expectations that are WORTH
are your own.
isnt it tiring
to be someone else.
and when you think that you have deceived the whole world,
you will realise one day that actually, they all knew.
and they grew tired of it as well.
and we are all like that, really.
why deny our true selves?
is it really worth it.

and it doesnt make sense really
to want to be fitter
to want to look better
to want to score higher
to want to be more popular
to want everyone to like you
when all that you're pretending to be falls.
when everyone can see right through you.
when everyone knows.
its not something they speak of.
but its an understated agreement.
why pretend and be unhappy?
why deny and not learn?
why not confront and let it bury itself?

people should love you for who you are inside.
and if they dont,
well, think of it as their loss.
and not yours.
but everyone should know that
its not how you look like on the outside that makes you look beautiful.
its what you carry inside yourself that makes you amazing (:

we humans come to a common understanding as we grow up.
its not something we speak of.
but its an understated agreement.

and now nat is officially late for ballet
nice day (:

2006-06-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

tagggggs! (:

elyy: AHEM AHEM AHEM d:
jamie: yeah true. maybe they're just like that lah. anyway, i had FUNN today! ((:
sakina: ehh jgn relak too much okay. habiskan all your homework! haha.
anonymous: hello anonymous. apparently you didnt read my post properly cos i wasnt undermining love (: anyway. its just my opinion. and next time you can leave your name im not gonna eat you (:
dana: AH-NIA!
seer: erm?
zan: but i turned up! haha today was HIGH HIGH DAY. oohlala ((: do the quiz kay!
audy: whoops d: i was too lazy my dear. i'll make it up to you promise! anything new?
nat- the- deaf: hahaha im glad (:

i had no regrets about anything i did today (:
i woke up, at 9 15.
realised i was gonna be late for ballet but i DIDN'T panic.
suprisingly.

went for class.
we did POINTE syllabus work.
PIROUETTES on pointe o:
we did the exercises in pairs.
jamie fell down like twice?
and i got so damn scared.
so i sorta screwed it up lah,
but ms ong gave me the motivation i needed man.
'its ALRIGHT to fall. just pick yourself up. come on!'
what would i do without a dance teacher like her (:
anything else than that was fine.

left halfway.
cos my family needed to urgently attend something
and i didnt like it one bit s:
sigh okay nvm.
then rushed home to change bathe everything.
made my way to parkway to meet the dancers!

i took away BK to eat at school.
wanted to go to mango but it was erm,
PACKED like shit.
there was even this barrier like enclosing it?!
what thee.
so we made our way to school..
problem: we were all not dressed in school attire!
but we brought some part of our uniform.
so our plan was to go change in the school toilet.
but nooo,
the guard. PATRICK. yes i remember his name.
haha reminds me of patrick from spongebob (:
anyway, he wasnt understanding one bit.
and i was like making my usual ahh mm ooh noises while he talked.
hahaha.
so yeah, we got sent to mdm khoo.

well at least mdm khoo was understanding!
tsk.
we would have gotten a booking but she let us off!
she's a really nice lady yay (:

headed to the voideck.
daph was already there with her sister.
started on our carnivaaal.
i was like eating my burger and marking the steps at the same time hahaa.
had some problem with the music,
but everything was eventually sorted out (:
THEN.
hahaha!
we were trying to find a way to make the bimbos 'fall'.
so me and zan started trying out any step we could think of.
and really RIDICULOUS STEPS mind you.
then we ended up laughing at ourselves.
dana daph and jamie formed this 'club' and just sat at the bench
watching and laughing at us.
VERY FUNNY AH!
haha but yeah. i havent felt this retarded in a long time!
which is goood.
and we made more progress lah yay.
fun fun fun fun (:

daph zan jamie left first to go settle the jackets.
me and dana stayed on (:
we were supposed to continue choreographing but, ahaha.
decided to leave lah.
had this good talk with her.
i really really could tell her just about EVERYTHING.
and i know she wouldnt judge me or think otherwise or anything.
she just listens and tell me how she feels
i swear that girl's a blessing in disguise (:
went to caltex.
i bought that jelly ice cream - YUM!

nat: (picking out the jelly thing) ehh why so soft one!
dana: nat, its jelly?!
nat: oh ya hahahaha.

im such a dumbass. haha.
but it was like flopping everywhere lah!
i mean like duh, i know its jelly and its suppose to flop
but its supposed to be frozen right!
had a hard time eating it.
dana waited with me till my rents came (:

came home.
walked over to tiara's to pass her something.
and i got caught in the rain but ah (:
the rain was warm.
but the wind was cold.
weird.

you know,
the worst thing saboteur of a relationship is selfishness.

if you cant accept each other's faults,
the only thing you'll be caught up in eventually
is justifying yourself.

'oh, he was insensitive, you cant say im the one at fault'

'oh, she smothered me bcos all of her insecurities'

you know the worst thing ever
is when we niptick at the other person's faults
remember every single sentence they said that hurt you
and then regurgitate it to them
every time you disagree.

i dont see the point in that.

POK ahhh!
go start on your homework please dearie.
let me just remind you.
the weekend's gonna poof just like that.
and before you know it.
uh oh SCHOOOOOOL l:

sigh i really dont feel like going back.

i dont feel like doing work
i dont feel like studying
i dont feel like listening to teachers ramble on&on
i dont feel like eating canteen food
i dont feel like seeing people doing the things they do.

i just dont feel like going back.

i dare you to move*

2006-06-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

the goober asked me to do this. again. haha.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
tells myself: man, you're looking fugly today.

2. When is the next time you will have sex?
haha not soon thanks.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?
erm floor?

4. Favorite planet?
earth.

5. Who is the 3rd person on your missed call list on your mobile?
an unknown number. which im assuming is ms jamie low d:

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
pussycat dolls - BUTTONS ((:

7. What shirt are you wearing?
sba tee (:

8. Do you "label" yourself?
dana calls me GUESS. hahaha.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
i don't wear shoes in the house.

10. Bright or dark room?
dark (:

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?
that she's EXTREMELY DAO when she dances! d:

12. take a break, have a kit-kat!
what, are you trying to make me fatter??!

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
amathsing and soccer-ing? :D

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
audrey : OI WHY NEVER COME FOR CLASS?!!!

15. Where is your letter box?
erm, somewhere near the gym area?

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
eh eh SERIOUS.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
im an unloved kid ):

18. Last furry thing you touched?
haha some furry bag.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
right.

eh, where's question 20?

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
sec2 life. or probably when i was a toddler.

22. Your worst enemy?
natasha arvind.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
the picture of me and eunice piak-ing ourselves against a wall. but i edited it with photoshop. i love that picture man (:

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
i told audrey to go and die after she asked me something. PANGSAI.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you do?
haha, hmmm don't know leh.

26. Do you like someone?
yeah. no! maybe? i dont know.

27. Are you dating them?
nahh.

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet for them?
audrey? i just asked her to go and die HAHAHA.

29. If you could punch one person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be?
some smug mutton-looking girl. and i'll do more than just punch her (:

30. Who're the three lucky people who will be doing this next?
zan
dana
daph
(:

ballet tomorrow.
then dance.
lets hope it'll be a better progress than wednesday.

2006-06-22T20:19:00.000+08:00

sometimes pictures speak a thousand words.

and nothing is more amazing

than a smile (:

2006-06-21T23:45:00.000+08:00

was doing amath and..

okay before i go on,
this is gonna become another i-dont-make-sense post
so you can choose to skip it if you want.
hah anyways.

sometimes i wonder.
when you think about it,
its not love that makes the world go round
its superficiality.
love is centered around superficiality.
that doesnt mean that love isnt true,
neither does it mean that we could do without love,
or that love isnt a many splendid thing.
im NOT undermining love here.
but just bcos love is what it is doesnt mean that its not centered around
superficiality, bcos it is.
everything is.
the world and everyone in it revolves around an axis of superficiality.
and thats how it is.
you cant expect someone to love you unconditionally.
people like to say their parents love you unconditionally.
but the primary reason why they love you is the greatest condition of all
-you're their own flesh and blood.
lovers never love unconditionally.
nobody does.
you cant expect your friends to be there for you always and forever,
no matter what.
bcos they wont.
they cant be.
the grass is always greener on the other side.
which is why we come up with all these ideals,
to create a hyperreality which doesnt exist.
we live superficially,
so we yearn for idealism.
its not gonna happen.
anticipation is our greatest enemy.
thats why its the greatest feeling.

i know what you must be thinking.
'what has this got to do with amath?!'
hahaha yeah i know.
i have no idea where the thought came from either.
but it just.. got me thinking (:

goooodnight!

the day didnt turn out as bad i thought it would (:

2006-06-21T20:36:00.000+08:00

today : extremely extremely tiring day.

i slept at like two last night
and had to get up at eight todaye.
how wonderful.
went for ballet
ms ong was late, AS USUAL.
then i rushed to school for dance.

it was good to see all the dancers again.
hahaha :) (:
jamie was getting so high.
i swear its the maggi mee.
mind you, she kicked me TWICE while sitting on the chair
and i was on the floor.
her leg's a dangerous weapon man!
first we settled some 'admin' stufff hahaa.

then had to choreograph the recess thing.
but in the end, we just koped everything from ah hua.
haha that really saved ALOT of time.
SSSSSSSSHAKE <3
and everytime we did something new,
someone: okay so its like that? (does the action)
nat: ya. okay can?
everyone: CAN.
iis nat: i dont understand.
and she'll stand there with that blur faaaace!
haha everyone wanted to strangle her okay.
she's even blurer than me.
which is. BLUR. haha.

as the day progressed on,
we were all starting to get tired.
so yeah, we were just lying around and stuff.
okay basically tired lah. haha.
halfway me zan and nat went to buy maggi back to school.
but we sat at the i-cant-remember-what-its-called area,
near the prefects den there.
then after a while,
jamie dana and ah hua came.
but only jamie stayed on, the other two had to leave.
so we were just sitting there..

nat: hey after this we go back and work on the contemp okay?
jamie: ya okay.
zan: and i'll work on my jazz.
iis nat: you know i thought you said 'after this we go back and work on the condom okay?'

RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT,
i just like put the noodles+soup into my mouth,
AND ALMOST CHOKED AND DIED.
and jamie,
who was right at that moment,
drinking her soya bean
JUST THREW UP EVERYTHING!

hahahaha.
zan went HKSDKWGETHJAS and immediately scrammed from that area.
and i think it took awhile for me and nat to realise what to do.
both blur what. haha.
then the three of us stood near the monkey bars area,
zan almost threw up too.
nat was covering her ears?!
hahahaha.
KUKOONESS.

and after recovering from that messy incident,
we went back to the voideck.

couldnt decide on a contemp song :s
shit.
and it was getting soooo hot.
so we just sat there, and sorta stoned.
and stoned.
stoned somemore.
the music kept playing.
but we just kept stoning.

i think the hip hop's really nice!!
yeah yeah i like it alot :D
but at the first part we have to krump for like
FOUR EIGHTS?
oh my god.
im really gonna look like a clown!
haha i can just imagine it.

was just talking to jamie.
and i was thinking,
the advice i gave her
should actually be the advice i hafta give myself.
yep.

21.06.06
im gonna remember this day man.

life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
life has a funny, funny way of helping you out.
helping. you. out.
be patient.
and it'll come.

no more (:

2006-06-20T16:55:00.000+08:00

was it something i said?

and everyday i hope you'd actually care.

met valannelim at school todaye.

nat: hey meet me at the main entrance kay.
val: okay. are you wearing uniform?
nat: no. bra and panty. you?
val: just boxers.

and for a moment, i actually fell for it.
*knocks head*

lifehouse
cos its you and me
and all of the people
with nothing to do, nothing to lose
and its you and me
and all of the people
i dont know why,
i cant keep my eyes off you.

something about you now
i cant quite figure out
everything she does is beautiful
everything she does is right.

i need to talk to tofu.

2006-06-19T21:32:00.000+08:00

I WANT THE SHOE!

'i just needed some reason to talk to her'
'so why didnt you just talk to her?'

cos i need a reason.

working on the chem hw now.
stupid mole shit. and im actually suppose to explain it to val.
when im struggling with it myself.
haha die.

paris hilton has a song ?!
GASPS =0
oh my goodness.
i cant even put the voice with her face!
she should just stick to what she's good at.
which is..
k actually i have no idea what it is.
but the song's not bad lah i guess.

bloody me.
i bloody forgot that bloody me has ballet today at 530.
and bloody me didnt even bother to go bloody check
whether there was bloody class.
stupid me.
so stupid me stayed home stupidly studying the whole stupid day.
where i would have probably gained stupid weight.
for stupidly sitting around the whole stupid day.
DAMN.

okay i just realised how random this post is.
but im random anyway!
so yeah.

i think Who Knew by PINK's so sad)=
and my hair's wet.
random again.

i just need a break from homework lah seriously.

if someone said three years from now
you'd be long gone
i'd stand up and punch them out
cos they're all wrong
i know you better
cos you said forever
and ever
who knew.

2006-06-19T15:27:00.000+08:00

this is really interesting.

1) Who will be the first in your class to get married?
huda.

2) Who will be the first in your class to have kids?
YAYA!

3) Who will be the first in your class to earn a million dollars?
hmm maybe val?

4) Who will be the first in your class to get their own house?
ME! or eunice. hahaha.

5) Who will be the first in your class to get their own car?
tofu. so she can save money on cabs!

6) Who will be the first in your class to die?
EH. jaz? cos she talks/laughs/shouts/squeals/whines too much. k no im kidding. may you live a hundred years babe(=

7) Who in your class is most likely to get a recording contract?
EUUUNICE!

8) Who in your class is most likely to become a model?
YAYA( hahaha) or eunice. or val. maybe serene.

9) Who in your class is most likely to become a TV star?
tofu. and probably yaya. haha.

10) Who in your class is most likely to become a magazine reporter?
michelle.

11) Who in your class is most likely to form a band?
syikin&jannah. since they play musical instruments. k i cant think of anymore.

12) Who in your class is most likely to die of anorexia?
no one. everybody's healthy and happy. i think.

13) Who in your class is most likely to do something illegal?
hye rim. hahahaha okay im evil. actually i dont know.

14) Who in your class is most likely to migrate?
NADIA. haha nak slang lagi?

15) Who in your class will most likely become a sports star?
HAMIZA. and JAZREEL.

16) Who in your class will most likely be someone horribly famous?
sykin and yaya! haha. but not horribly lah.

17) Who in your class is most likely to become the next Paris Hilton?
ATIFAH! hahaha. or eunice. hey you get a million for waving.

18) Who in your class is most likely to become a failure in life?
no one.

19) Who in your class is most likely to travel around the world in 80 days?
victoria. she's so adventurous!

20) Who in your class is most likely to get plastic surgery?
HAHAHAHHAA.

21) Who in your class is most likely to have the most kids?
JANNAH! haha. i think. she's really motherly and domestic.

22) Who in your class is most likely to become a German?
nadia. hoho.

23) Who in your class is most likely to kill a great number of people at one single time?
azian. i can picture it in my mind.

24) Who in your class is most likely to commit suicide?
choy!

25) Who in your class is most likely to become desperate by the age of 30?
HAHAHAHAHHAA. this is a mean quiz

26) Who in your class is most likely to own a farm?
alvina? i dont know. she looks like she can command all the animals.

27) Who in your class is most likely to turn bisexual?
HA. hmmmmmmmm aiya. dont say lah.

28) Who in your class is most likely to go into politics?
claire. or yun ting. hahaha.

29) Who in your class is most likely to become a philosopher of some sort?
EH.. EUNICE. ahaha.

30) Who in your class are you most likely to marry?
val or eunice! HOHOHO.

bio is driving me nuts.
seriously.

i cant believe its like less than a week
and we'll be back in school. !
the hols passed by so fast lah =/
and im really not happy about it.

just when i thought it actually mattered,

there you go again.

2006-06-18T19:23:00.000+08:00

IM BACK. !
okay i shall reply tags first.
AIDA: omg hey gorgeous.! miss you too man(=
yaya: haha SHUT UP LAH. the worker scared me okay. !
sara: eh hello. ! how did you find my blog. ? haha.
gnat: hey you with the evil laughter. thanks(= and good that you changed the THRIFTY. haha.
nat- the -deaf: alah how can you go to thailand WITHOUT ME HUH. ! haha kidding d= love. !
POK: you know i love you too(=
limin: hey. ! no lahh where got free. i just love changing em'. haha. !
dana: heeeyyyyyy youuuuu. !!
syikk: random babe, RANDOM. haha.
yirui: haha owen's not hot lah. ! and hey, i couldnt find your notebook. so sorry aye =/
jastine: heya stranger! how did you find me ah? haha anyway the guys are more entertaining than watching the bloody ball. LOL.
heather: hey heatherloo! you support england. ? ALAMAK.
valencia: yes it rocks. !
eunice: tsk NEHNEH you BODOH lah. ! haha just kidding(=
jamie: yes OMEN OMEN OMEN. !
jasmine: haha one more time you do the faint thing, IM REALLY GONNA FAINT.
zan: haha yes you introduced it to meee. !
syikk: isnt jambu the fruit. ? hahaha. thanks(=
elyy: hey im back. ! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY COWDUNG. ! love you many many. !(= zan: haha yeah wednesday. ! cant wait(=
asshole: huh who are you?
audy: hey, im back. whats wrong. ? i called you but you didnt pick up. PANDAI.

im back from the beautiful city of looovveee(=
haha quite a short trip,
but i thought it was just right so yeah. !
heh.
and ahem i took the ahem picture up there ahem.
MY PHOTOGRAPHY SKILLS NOT BAD RIGHT.
haha.
im gonna open a shutterfly account soon for all the other pics(=

overall the trip was fine.

but everything there was really expensive. ! yeah.

I SAW SONYA ELISABETH BRANSON ON MY SECOND DAY THERE. !

taken at gap(=

i was so shocked when i saw her. !

at first i was busy shopping, then suddenly i heard someone shout

'KAWANNNN. !'

and i was like

okay there's some crazy mad malay person in here.

then someone came up from behind me and shut my eyes,

i almost screamed okay. ! hahaha.

but when i saw it was sonya, i was OH. MY. GOOOODDDDD. !

haha she was on holiday there with her family too

and we were also staying in the same hotel,

expected i guess since her dad works for SIA too.

we made a point to meet every night, at the first floor lounge area

where we sat there and talked for HOURS.

and it was easy to pick up where we left off all the time.

she's a great person to talk to(=

we came back together too. !

yeah on the same plane and everything(=

really cool.

i didnt get any sleep lahh. haha but its okay.

they were showing Date Movie on the plane. !!

fockyerdoder. i still remember it. ! hahaha.

son was laughing like some mad woman man.

THERE WAS GOAL TOO. !

santiago munez(= aww.

anyways, im really glad i met son there(=

from heather the goober.

My teacher once said that

condoms can stretch up to seven feet long.

Never in my life have i

crossed the sahara desert.

The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always make me smile

is also someone whose ego i'd rather not inflate. haha.

I like

roque santa cruz. !

because

he's hot AND he can play. although he's abit off now but hey he was injured for so long. !

When i'm nervous

i build a wall around me and collect my thoughts.

The last time i laughed was when

i saw my mum sleeping with her mouth wide open. HAHAHAHA.

My hair is

fugly and straight.

My feet are

fat.

Last christmas

i gave you my heart!

When i turn my head left, i see

my drawer, table lamp, tissue box, rubbish bin. alot of stuffs lah!

When i turn my head right, i see

my book shelf, radio, lamp, CDs, my phone. ETC.

When i look down, i see

my feet?

The craziest recent event was

the world cup. !

By this time next year

i'll be busy studying for my Os.

I have a hard time understanding

adults. and math.

One time at a family gathering

i threw a tantrum.

You know i like-like you if

i tell you.

If i won an award, the first person i'd thank is

my mum.

Triangles are

shapes lah deh. !

My ideal breakfast is

one by the beach.

If you make me really happy

i'll smile and try to make you happy too.

Where do you plan to visit anytime soon

vancouver. to visit my aunt. !

Boys are

like lava lamps. pretty sometimes, but always useless.

I'd stop my wedding if

my mother-in-law annoyed me

The world could do without

FATS.

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than

kiss a lizard.

Most recent thing you've bought yourself

erm, a book?

Most recent thing someone else bought you

chocolates. !

My least favourite time of the day is

3am. cos im always scared of 3am.

And by the way, please hold on

im about to dig my nose.

The last time i was high

i started laughing over nothing and everything like a horse

The last person i talked to told me

she's a pathetic CUTE PRETTY SMART little girl. haha.

I shouldn't have

done what i did.

Last night I

was at the charles de gaulle airport.

There's this girl i know who

needs to get a life.

There's this guy i know who

dances really well.

I'll tell the next person who makes me really happy

I LOVE YOU(=

I'm listening to

Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls.

and i dont want the world to see me

cos i dont think that they'd understand

when everything made to be broken,

i just want you to know who i am.

I last ate

an apple.

My bedsheet is

red and orange stripes. ! niceee.

I smell

no actually i dont. !

On my table, i have

oh trust me, you dont wanna know.

My full name is

natasha arvind.

The next 4 people who are gonna do this quiz are

eunice

jamie

shila

valencia

i wanna go on a roadtrip. !

ooh lala.

okay im bloody bored.

2006-06-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

im leaving on a jet plane,
don't know when i'll back again.

technically i dont.

cos stuff might happen along the way
KNOCK ON WOOD.

paris, here i come!
tralala.

i think im gonna die on the plane.
FOURTEEN blood sucking hours.
man, im gonna be so restless.
maybe i'll go disturb my dadddd.
or help him work! haha.

weell,
i'll miss everybody here!

nat sends her love(=
mwacha muachachas!

when you're close to tears remember
someday it'll all be over
one day we're gonna get so highhh <3
Lighthouse Family - High
one of the most touching songs ever.

toodles poodles noodles nasi lemak hokkien mee prawn aglio!

2006-06-13T01:09:00.000+08:00

okay just gonna post a few pics that we took on sunday(=

LOVE YOU PLENTY! <3 hoho.

we had dinner at this fantabahooby place!

told you the spoon was big. hahaha.

REAL big.

tom yam soup. YUMMM(=

mango salad. DOUBLE YUMMM!

haha i knew the shot was coming.

hmm it seems like eunice is checking out the guy in blue. HAHAHA.

while waiting for the train home(=

I LOVE THIS PICTURE! <3>

enough said

and some beauty kept saying she didnt look good.

me and eww- nice. MWACHACHAS!

okay i think i should be turning in soon.

its 2.05 in the morning! good golly me.

and i'll be on the plane in 20+ hours.

haha.

GOOOOODNIGHT!

2006-06-12T23:26:00.005+08:00

everything fades by poets of the fall.
its such a catchy song!
really nice(=
for your love im sorry
for your pain dont worry
wow. they do make good music.

currently talking to tano.
man, when was the last time i called you that!
its been a really long time since i've talked to her PROPERLY.
yeah LONGLONGAGO. haha.
but she's still the same lah!
always finding a way to irritate me
which never fails to WORK -_-
haha.
i missed getting bullied/laughed at by her!
FAINTS* if only it had the animation aye. LOL.
and, i miss you!

oh yes, nick won on so you think you can dance.
and melody came in second.
i think they both deserve it(=
what more, they're best friends.
but i think i would have preferred melody to come in champion.
oh wells.

who wants to go sunbathing with me!

2006-06-12T15:01:00.000+08:00

my outing with smelly elly last friday(=
hahaha cowdung has a new name.

i crave desperately for the stars.

cos with the stars, i feel at peace.
i feel no particular need to care about anything at all.
and i dont want to care. cos caring is so

tiring.

its so tiring.

and draining.

im just talking about things generally here cos im not miserable.

things happening now are too trivial to make me miserable.

romance is overrated for a reason.
indeed true.

and we all crave for romance. who doesnt?
we all want someone we can lean on. we all want someone who knows all your flaws,
who accepts you for who you are and who still loves you even if not forever,
but for as long as your fate states.

sometimes i really want to grow up. and stop studying.
and work.
be a larger part of society.

but i like being a kid. cos when you're a kid,
you can pull your pants down, knock into every pillar,
laugh and scream, fall down, cry, pout and whine, worry about trivial things
and nobody will care.
cos well, you're a kid.

this is.. DA LOVE <3

oohh ahh.

i need. the stars.

2006-06-11T22:29:00.000+08:00

which hurts the most;
saying something and wishing you had not
or saying nothing and wishing you had?

in the end it all hurts just the same

so yesterday i..

watched the world cup. SERIOUSLY.

england won. 1-0.

by an own goal.

ha. the first half was a lot more interesting than the second.

oh well, i didnt expect a full 90 min of interesting play from an england game did i?!

and crouch is just an awkward mess of flailing stick.

speaking of crouch hahaha he's damn suay man the stupid mexican referee kept tekaning him.

and everyone else. what the.

stupid referee!

giving out free kicks like free.

gundu guy with the slicked back hair.

hot! awwwwwwww.

spend all your time waiting/for that second chance/for a break that would make it okay.
there's always one reason/to feel not good enough/and its hard at the end of the day.
i need some distraction/some beautiful release/memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty/and weightless
man, i love this song <3

i went shopping with some beauty todaye.
and to the guy who was like, ugh
I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THE BLOODY CARAMEL FROM AUNTIE ANNE'S
AND SHOVED IT UP YOUR NOSTRILS
and you would go
'THIS SMELLS LIKE CARAMELL!'
and i would go
'OH YES COME HAVE SOME MORE!'
and shove the rest in.
i cant stand PERVERTS. sickening.

anyway,
bought this white pants and red/white top from ZARA.
woohoo im satisfied(=
although my mum told me i er kinda look like the spore flag.
OKAY nvm!
it looks nice((=
the beautyness bought a purple tube and black/white skirt.
SEXAYE. haha.

didnt see anything nice at Guess or Mango, which was weird.
the sales are going crazyae!
well, we walked from wisma to taka to wheelock to heeren to paragon.
haha not bad right!
but i didnt really feel THAT tired or anything,
i guess it was cos i had really good company.
finally found some time to talk to her(=

had dinner at nooch.
the portion was like WOAHHH bigg.
and the spoon was oh-so-cute i tell you! haha.
but the food was generally good.
yeah.

then we headed home.
oh yes, did i mention that eunice ho is so UNself-centred!
why?
cos whenever we take photos,
the picture only comes out with me in it
and her face is either cut off or not there at all!
hahahaha. LOUSY.
im just kidding, dont get mad okay! =p
but i had fun with you todaye(((=
i'll miss you!

ah damn.
i cant seem to change the words on my blog from italic to normal.
so not nice!
tsk.

k guess this post was long enough.
now its time to..
hit the bed!

pictures, another time!

2006-06-08T22:25:00.000+08:00

say ooh lala.

happy birthday aunt freda!
hope you had fun eating that errr durian cake!
haha.

i love that song by Nikki Flores
and high school musical omg!

im gonna watch it like a thousand times man.
its such a sweet movie really(=

class was in the morning today.
sba was so SMEEEELLLLYYYY,
cos of all the paint
(okay the painters are really scary)
they were right outside the studio,
and they kept looking in =/
with that you-know, scary face.
whats worse is they're foreigners.
today,
my turns were so OFF.
rahh i could feel all the strain
from the whole week; accumulated.
and then suddenly it felt like
i couldnt do anything right anymore.
but nah i didnt give up!
nyaha.

then in the evening went over to aunt freda's for her birthday.
my mum bought her cake
and all of flavours..
DURIAN!
eeeeeee =s
bad taste bad taste.
i was like suffocating in the house with all that durian smell!
so me and sal decided to step outside.
haha.
we had a good talk.
its been awhile since i actually had a proper conversation with him
so yeah.
weell, good to catch up(=

stayed on for spore idol results,
OH MY GOD RAHIMAH GOT IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHH IM SO 7753285769127340156 HAPPY!
SHE'S POWERHOUSE MAN.
awesome stuff(=
i think she and paul have the most coolest identities so far.
and er,
i didnt really want jasmine to get in.
felt like gayle had a stronger voice,
its just that she chose the wrong song!!
man, thats a waste of talent.
k nvm i dont think jasmine will last long.
RAHIMAH, on the other hand,
hahaha we'll see(=

my mother was like calling the judges racist
cos she felt like more malays should have gotten in,
AIYA what to do.
but i'll bet the malay community will support rahimah all the way man!
WOOOOHOOOO.

my cramps are killing me.
goodnight.

man, im tired.

2006-06-07T18:06:00.000+08:00

elyana stabbed me to do this.
stabbing is wrong wrong WRONG.

The rules: Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I dont watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi
I talk really,really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way i look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex (FRIEND LAH.)
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop then eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.( who doesnt?)
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can
I have jumped off a bridge
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk(swear) in my sleep. ( thats a good question)
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsesical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex (does an infactuation count?)
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie

sometimes it feels like i dont know you anymore.
i dont know.
im starting to see something.
i wanna give you all the support i can,
but you need to see where all this is going.
just sit down for a moment
and think.
i dont want you to turn into some who knows what you know.
this is getting scary.
you're scaring me okay.

sigh im disappointed,
but i'll get over it.

2006-06-06T22:23:00.000+08:00

class was FUNFUNFUN today!
ballet was okaaayish.
i couldnt keep up with the allegro.
haha and my face looked damn SPASSSSTIC!
cos i was tryna do some weird step,
and you know when you concentrate too much on footwork
you just forget bout the rest of your upper body.
everyone was laughing at my face. thanks ah. haha.
but my centre work was an improvement(= phew*

then went for SALSAAAA<33
genisha was killing meeee.
i was supposed to meet her at bugis first,
since it was only her second time
and she wasnt really familiar with everything.
then suddenly i got a msg from her
genisha: hey nat. im already on my way, but im not sure if i should go for class cos im not feeling too good. should i go?
me: i duno. how bad are you feeling? do you wanna go?
genisha: im just feeling sick. do you think i should go?
me: up to you lah. do you wanna go?
genisha: i dun know leh. do you still think i should go?
me: its up to you really. if you're really feeling sick then you should go home. so are you still meeting me?
genisha: i duno. should i still go?
me: OH MY GOD MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALR LAH!
hahaha i wanted to strangle her okay.
but she went in the end lah. ass. haha.
we got our new dance skirts. oooh lala pretty pretty(=
k i've got to perfect my turns =/
then after class,
everyone came together to debate on So you think you can dance.
wahaha it turned into some hot argument man!
ning was like so upset that blake went out. haha obviously,
since blake's like on her msn dp, phone wallpaper and blog! haha.
but yeah everyone agreed melody was goooood. yay

then went for late dinner/supper at plaza sing.
yum yummm gelare <3333
wanted to go watch The Omen but i couldnt stay out tonight.
boo hoo hoo.
oh well another time(=

saw this poor lady sleeping on the mrt.
she kept banging her head on the glass panel beside her,
cos she was sitting at the corner.
practically everyone was laughing at her! tsk.
haha okay fine maybe i laughed abit too,
but alamak like dont go hysterical or something.
now im referring to this group of immature boys.
my goodness.
its like they've never seen someone falling asleep like that before.
kns.

k its getting pretty late.
i should probably get back to my book!
nights(=

2006-06-06T15:15:00.000+08:00

man, i hope this post isnt gonna turn into another emo one =/
sigh but i keep thinking about stuffs.
chances are i know you wont be reading this
cos just now was probably the last time you'll be coming online
till you come back
so, yeah.

im really gonna miss you this time.
that three days and i was already like
lkhfkjnkshdiuqowhrowihe.
now its like.. another eight?
oh gosh.
and now you'll be even further away.
thats sad.

oh well,
have a safe trip alright.
and have fun over there.
while i happily suffer here lol.
i'll be thinking of you! (dont come and 'like real laaa nat me' okay)
cos i. am. serious.
hahaha.
SERIOUS I SAID.
yeah, serious.

K BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING,
it wont be the same without you here.
betcha know that already yeah.
i hope you'll have a good trip.
and that you'll be safe and protected.
i mean every little thing i say, okay?
from the heart.

so i guess its goodbye.
make full use of your time there haha.
and enjoy yourself! ( im sure you will)
i'll miss you so.
take care, you.

i'll listen to songs that'll remind me of you
i'll go to places that'll remind me of you
i'll do anything,
just to be reminded of you.

how you put a smile to my face every other time,
its something i cant even put into words
a feeling so unexplainable
so, thank you(=

i cant explain what its like
not knowing if i'll ever cross your mind.

you'll always be with me
although you're so far away*

bye. i'll miss you=/

2006-06-06T10:22:00.000+08:00

i finally got to see eww-nice and vaaaaal yesterday after their obs trip!

so our class was supposed to go back for chem and amath lesson,
i went for the chem one.
haha yaya eunice and val happily ponned it lah!
then after that, me and jaz ponned amath with them. lol.
we headed to parkwaaaayy!
settled down at kfc to talk shits.
WE WERE MAKING SO MUCH NOISE OH MY GOD.
and we were playing the 'disappear' game.
which simply meant that
me and val had to go disappear as we were walking
then eunice and yaya had to go find us.
HAHA so lame right i know.
we were like running around the whole first floor level of isetan,
trying to run from the two of them.
in our school uniform somemore!
haha.
and this val ah
'nat! eh nat! don't run already! stop running!'
but she herself was running -_-
LOL but it was fun!

and the stupid kfc person.
cos i was standing in between the two tables,
then suddenly he came in so close to me and started shouting
'XIAO MEI AH! XIAO MEI AH XIAO MEI AH!'
i was so damn shocked lah!
then i was like
'OH SORRY OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY..'
and i moved aside.
then this yaya started laughing at me
haha i must have looked so kan cheong!
really what the stupid man almost gave me a heart attack can.

went for class after that.
shit lah i cant do anything right for nuts!
and after class,
my whole face was like BURNING RED.
tsk.
rushed home for So You Think You Can Dance.
WHY THE HECK WAS BLAKE SENT HOME?!
jamile should've been the one!
americans should go shoot themselves or something.
k nvm.
melody and ashley are in the top 2!
WOOHOO.

today yet another boring day.
was supposed to meet up for english project,
but haha tak jadi lah.
The Omen's out!
ahhhhhhhh i wanna watch!
okay i feel like a deprived kid.
there're so many movies i wanna watch
so many things i wanna do
so many places i wanna go!

i can play a Thousand Miles on the piano(=
YEAH MAN.
i spent like such a long time trying to get the chords right,
but i finally got it!
ahaha achievement.

i know you've heard these words a hundred other times before
and you've been hurt and so your heart has chosen to close the door
love broke your heart and brought you lies
look into my eyes
you'll see something beyond anything you've seen before
a love thats deep and true
tender and strong and all for you

from the heart
im giving you everything
from the heart
i promise you that i'll be there
from the heart
i'll cherish you from the soul*

2006-06-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

nat where did you go? :/ you're not online anymore :/ about the gift, i'm not sure if my phone sent the msg since i didn't get a reply but i think you should give it to her? take it as a farewell bon voyage gift :) don't doubt! what's the most she can do, throw it in the dustbin? i don't think so!
hey update for me too ok! i miss talking to you :/
i know you're always with me. you show me, by the little things you do for me. Thank You
this is the lllllllllooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg gooooobyyyyye! :)
night!

2006-06-05T15:46:00.000+08:00

2006-06-03T15:14:00.000+08:00

just got to make this a quicky one.
so all the obs people are back..
YAY finally!
((=
went for class this morning.
okay pre-inter work screws shit.
ahh i hope i get in
*crosses fingers*
kay i just have to keep practising!
and the 13th isnt very far away =/

ugh
the people living above me are making weird knocking noises.
SHUT UP MAN!
disrupting my peace and quiet
yeesh.

and she say she's as heartless as can be.

i agree.

okay gotta go off!
dance mania..
HERE I COME=D

missing you like hella crazy.

2006-06-01T21:11:00.001+08:00

1.] Name one person who is on your mind rightnow?:
the ass going for her trip tmr. TAKE CARE ALRIGHT.

[2]. Do you think your life has been good so far?:
depends i guess =/

[3]. Where is the last place you went?:
as in outside ah? downtown east.

[4]. Who is the last person you called?:
my mum.

[5]. Who is the last person you texted?:
i forgot

[6]. Who is the last person who called you?:
my mum.

[7]. Who is the last person who texted you?:
the NEHNEH.

[8]. Other than yours where was the last houseyou slept at?:
erm sonya's? sleepover lah.

[9]. Do you already have plans for this weekend?:
ballet. dance mania. disney channel thingg. tution. piano. SHOP!
(oh my goodness)

[10]. Ever cheated on anyone?:
as in two-timed? no.

> [11]. Been cheated on?:
HA.

[12]. Have you ever thought that you were in love?:
i think so.

[15]. What is your favorite body type to cuddlewith?:
HAHA erm not too muscular thanks.

[16]. Do you look like your mom or dad?:
both also can lah.

[17]. Do you have siblings?:
nope =/

[18]. Do you smile often?:
haha people say i don't. but i do try.

[19]. Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?:
which someone?

[20]. Could you be a vegetarian?:
yeah and become anorexic after that.

[21]. Are you sentimental?:
yeah.

[22]. Ever thought someone was "the one"?:
never.

[23]. What do you think your wedding song willbe?:
haha never thought of it. something sappy lah.

[24]. What is your middle name?:
don't have one.

[25]. Choose one to have (love, beauty,creativity):
creativity.

[26]. Do you wish on stars?:
yeah.

[27]. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
sometimes.

[28]. What is the most disgusting food you've ever eaten?:
raw tuna. YEESH.

[29]. Would you kill someone?:
choy.

[30]. When did you last cry?:
last night.

[31]. If you were making a movie about yourself,who would play you?:
myself lah then who.

[32]. Have you ever met anyone famous?:
who do you consider famous?

[33]. Do you like your handwriting?:
haha i think its fine. BUT EVIL PEOPLE THINK OTHERWISE

[34]. Who are you jealous of?:
those smart rich bitches.

[35]. What is your favorite lunchmeat?:
huh?

[36]. Do you have any bad habits?:
haha obviously.

[37]. Are you a friendly person?:
yeah okay lah.

[38]. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
HMM probably!

[39]. Do looks matter?:
yeah maybe. but just don't get too arrogant if you think you're pretty.

[40]. What is your favorite school subject?:
pe. COS ITS DAMN SLACK! okay and maybe lit too.

[41]. Are you keeping a secret from the world?:
who doesnt?

[42]. Do you regret anything?:
of course.

[43]. When was the last time you really cried our heart out?:
last night.

[44]. Ever cried yourself to sleep?:
all the time.

[45]. Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?:
yeah =/

[46]. Do you cry when you get an injury?:
if its really sakit then yes lah.

[47]. Do songs make you cry?:
sure do =/

[48]. What can make you happy?:
my FRIENDS!<3 DANCE.

[49]. Do you wish you were happier?:
sometimes. but im mostly okay with life now.

[50].What makes you the happiest?:
haha(=

went to downtown with my mum today for dinner.
had a goood talk with her.
my thoughts were all cleared up so
im satisfied.
yeah she made see that
i don't have to have a position
just to prove to people, and myself
how much i can bring
or how much potential i can carry.
i just have to give it my 110%
and that'll be enough.
im capable of so much better
and i dont need a position to judge my place in life.
so yeah.
thank you ma(=

ooh ooh yes!
there's gonna be a new BEN&JERRY'S shop in downtown!
YEAH MAN.
this is exciting,
and fattening all at the same time. haha.
I CANT WAIT.

people are coming back tmr!
YAY.

and people are going away too
have a safe trip and take care k.
its only three days,
but still.
there'll be nothing to look forward to
when you're gone =/

i hope the things i have planned for this weekend
can really keep me busy
sigh.

i'll keep thoughts of you in my head when you're gone.
if thats the only way it can bring me closer to you.

jamie famie's getting all high and excited.
haha I CAN SEEE WHYYYY.
cant believe one week passed just like THAT.

i'll be wishing for you in the stars above.
that you'll be safe and protected.

i'll miss you)=